Protecting Your Precious Energy

In part 3 of my Redefining Fertility Radio Show series Coping with the holidays I discuss how to protect your precious energy.

Clearing your energy field of negativity, grounding your energy and using other tools to protect yourself in negative environments. We can all use this episode for every day situations but it is particularly helpful during the holidays.

During this episode you will hear me refer to a few energy tools that I am using to help keep me grounded and to help keep my energy field clear. Below I have gone into further details about these tools as well as how to purchase your own.

 Click here to listen to listen to the series of episodes online.

Sue Dumais' Redefining Fertility Radio Show is hosted by The WIN - Women's Information Network.

My Energy Pendant
I have been wearing my energy pendant for the last 2 months and I have noticed such an improvement in my ability to stay grounded especially in my yoga therapy sessions with clients.

I used to have trouble being in large crowds because I was so affected by other people's energy and negative emotions. With my pendant I can go anywhere and I feel completely protected. I am less affected by negative energy in my environment.   It has made a huge difference and given me a renewed sense of freedom!

The Pendant is based on a technology called Amized Fusion Technology (AFT). It resonates at zero-point energy which is the purest form of energy available on earth. The Pendant helps keep your bio-energetic field or information field clear of negative energy. It also reduces the impact of cell phones, computers and other electrical impulses on your body and energy field. The Pendant has a 3 foot radius all around you and it helps bring your energy field, mind and body back into harmony and balance. It is in that state of harmony that healing occurs and health thrives. With the environmental impact on our health today, I highly recommend everyone wear one.


For more information and to purchase a pendant click here.

Coping with the Holidays

Coping with the holiday season while living with fertility issues can be very  challenging. In this series of holiday episodes for my Redefining Fertility Radio Show, I share some tools and insights to help you manage your stress and emotional triggers. Creating awareness and practicing effective mind body tools can help shift your perspective and transform your experience of family events and the holiday season.


Click here to listen to listen to the series of episodes online.

Sue Dumais' Redefining Fertility Radio Show is hosted by The WIN - Women's Information Network.

Be the Lighthouse

Is the light in your heart shining brightly? Is there space in your life for a child? Have you created a nourishing environment in your body?

This Redefining Fertility Radio Show episode will help you discover ways you can open your heart, shine your light, and align your mind, body and soul with the baby that is meant to come to you.


Click here to listen to this episode online.

Sue Dumais' Redefining Fertility Radio Show is hosted by The WIN - Women's Information Network.

The Healing Power of Poetry

Poetry can be a powerful tool for healing on your fertility journey. Whether you are reading another person's words or writing your own.

In this Redefining Fertility Radio Show episode I share my personal poems with you and I explains why I wrote each poem and the healing I received from writing them.



Click here to listen to this episode.

Perhaps you will be inspired to write something of your own.

Namaste~

Sue Dumais' Redefining Fertility Radio Show is hosted by The WIN - Women's Information Network

Sue's presentation at the Dr Northrup Event

It was 5 years ago that I was asked "what is your grandest dream, your greatest desire?" and the first words that popped into my mind were "to speak to the world". Those words not only surprised me but terrified me. I thought for sure the words would be "to get pregnant" or "to have a baby". So I put that surprising dream to the side and I spent the last 5 years focusing on building a community of support at Family Passages Mind Body Studio for women and couples struggling with fertility.

At the same time I was experiencing my own fertility journey. I realized over the years that giving birth to a child is not the only capacity I have. I learned to channel my fertile creative energy to give birth to many things including my Yoga for Fertility Handbook, a home based business under the umbrella of Dr Northrup and Team Northrup and I also gave birth to my dream of having my own studio and so much more.

Last winter I started to hear the calling deep down inside of me getting louder. "It is time to speak to the world". I felt a sense of urgency. I felt a need to take a step toward my dream of being on stage in front of thousands and sharing my message.

I have seen evidence and felt a shift and rising of the feminine energy. It is a necessary shift that will help contribute to a global healing movement. I know in my heart I am destined to play a role in that movement. I was afraid for the longest time, but today, I am no longer afraid because I know it is something I am being called to do. 

Last July I begin a speaker training program with Les Brown, one of the top motivational speakers in the world. I am honoured to be one of his Platinum Speakers. I look forward to learning from one of the best to develop my skills as a speaker. My vision is to inspire and empower healing on a global level. This is what I am here to do. It is clear that it is time to answer my calling "to speak to the world".

I recently launched my "larger than life" speaking career at the Dr Christiane Northrup event in Vancouver on Nov 3rd. As I stepped out on to the stage and began to speak to the audience of 2000, I felt exhilerated. As I got comfortable with the stage and the mic I had a deep sense of "coming home". At the end of the night a friend asked me how I felt about being on stage and my response was "give me back the mic, I am so ready."

Here is a link to my speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUo6dyaywKc

I hope my message inspires you!

What are you being called to do?

Freeing Yourself from Harmful Labels

Labels like "unexplained infertility" and "infertile" can be cause more harm than you realize. In this episode Sue redefines these harmful labels and discusses the negative impact they can have on your fertility. She will also share how you can drop these labels and step into your full fertile potential.

Click here to listen to this episode online.

Sue Dumais' Redefining Fertility Radio Show is hosted by The WIN - Women's Information Network.

Special Guest - Baby Spirit Coach, Elisabeth Manning

Join Sue Dumais and special guest Elisabeth Manning for an inspiring and illuminating conversation around fertility. 

Elisabeth Manning is a Certified Spirit Coach dedicated to helping others achieve their highest human potential. She provides coaching, teaches fertility workshops and is currently writing a book on the topic of Fertile Living in order to bring through our Highest Potential in our children.

Click here to listen to this episode online. 
 

You can learn more about Elisabeth by visiting her website at www.consciousconception.net

Following Your Path No Matter What

This is a continuation of last weeks episode on following your own intuition as you decide what path to take on your fertility journey. Many times we are faced with the questions of who can help us and who should I see for support. When you learn to follow your intuition you make decisions from a deep place of knowing and as you follow the path you are meant to take you develop a deep sense of TRUST and KNOWING that will lead you directly to your baby to be.

Click here to listen to this episode on The Women's Information Network.

Trust Your Own Intuition

No one else in the world will truly understand what you are going through. Others may relate or have similar experiences if they have dealt with their own fertility challenges but they won’t truly understand. 

For example, I have an idea of the challenges women and couples face and I understand how difficult it can be. I have personally experienced many of the ups and downs, highs and lows so I “get it". 

While I understand the challenges I can never truly understand the depth of your fertility journey and the effects it has had on your life. No in the world except you (even you won’t fully grasp it at times) know how fertility has affected your life.

At Family Passages Mind Body Studio I have created a safe place for women to come and express their worries, challenges, fears and hopes in their fertility journey. I open my heart fully to listen, to be witness and surround each client with love as they explore the depth of their emotional journey. I have no judgments, I simply listen with an open heart and mind. I empower women by giving them an opportunity to express their regrets of the past, their challenges in the moment and their fears and hopes for the future. The level of healing that occurs in many sessions are miraculous. 

At the same time there are others that are just not ready to look at their life, they are not ready to heal, to let go and move forward. Again I hold space for where they are and gently encourage them to explore their fears and obstacles. I have no expectations only gentle compassionate guidance and love. Some will move some will not. It is not up to me, it is up to them.

There will be people in the world that will have their own opinions about your situation. Family, friends and even strangers will share their advice about what you should and shouldn’t do. 

There are people out there that will tell you that if conception doesn’t happen naturally then “you should face the fact that you are not meant to have children”. 
There are people out there that believe using artificial reproductive techniques is wrong and that you are working against nature. 
There are people out there that believe you are selfish and should adopt a child in need because there are so many children needing a home. At the same time there are people out there that believe adoption is wrong. 

There are so many opinions in the world it is difficult to know who to listen to. Who can really tell you what is best for you? How do you know who to listen to?

I am here to tell you that I have no idea what is best for you and neither does anyone else in the world. There is no one anywhere in the world that can tell you what you need to do. No one else has walked in your shoes. No one else has lived your life experiences. 

No one else will ever truly understand you, because this is your life, your unique experience; this is YOUR fertility journey. YOU and only you can know what is best for YOU. Only you can decide which path to take and when. Only you can decide who to see for help or assistance. Only you can know in you heart what is best for you.

While I encourage you to gather information, at the same time I encourage you to listen with your heart and I encourage you to follow your inner guidance/intuition to help you decide what path is best for you. This is your fertility journey, this is your life and you are the one living it. While you can listen to others opinions and advice, ultimately it is your decision. 

You have the ability, if you choose, to listen to your heart not your head. When you make decisions from your heart you connect to that deep place of knowing within. You connect to your own intuition. Your own inner guidance system that will lead you on the path you are meant to take. It takes some practice to connect to this place within you and it also requires that you TRUST. 


When I listen to my head, it would tell me we can't afford to adopt two children from Africa. It will tell me our house is too small. My head would tell me all the things that could go wrong or how hard it would be. When I listen to the voice in my heart it tells me my TRUTH. It is not a logical decision. It will not make sense to some people and it is even sometimes hard to describe but when I look into my heart, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my daughter is in Africa and I am meant to adopt her. I am her Mother and she chose me just as much as I chose her. 


If I would have continued to listen to others or even let my own thoughts in my head get in my way, I would have not allowed this guidance to come to me. I would have let everyone else convince me why it was a bad idea or that I try egg donor or surrogacy. While I have supported many of my clients through those procedures, it is not my path. Not because I have judgment about it, because I don't, but because I know in my heart the path to my little girl is through adoption.

I encourage you to find a quiet spot, focus on your breath and tune into your heart. While you can listen to others opinions if you choose remember that is it your heart, your decision, your path, your fertility. YOU decide what path you are meant to take. 

Click here to listen to my Redefining Fertility Radio Show episode on this topic. 

Benefits of Yoga for Fertility - New Episode

Redefining Fertility Radio Show Episode

Research has shown that reducing stress and practicing deep relaxation using yoga and meditation can increase your chances of conceiving. Learn effective fertility yoga poses to help calm anxiety, let go of negative thinking and increase circulation to the pelvis and reproductive organs.

Click here to listen to the episode on The WIN - Women's Information Network.

Redefining Fertility Radio Show - Practicing Meditation for Fertility

When you are trying to cope with the stress related to fertility, meditation is truly a gift. This simple and effective practice can transform your fertility journey from an emotional rollercoaster to a more calm, controlled and even positive experience.

Click here to listen to this episode on the WIN - Women's Information Network

And the Butterfly Emerges

This past summer has been a powerful time of transformation for me personally and professionally. I let go of a lot. I found my self withdrawing and seeking quiet simplicity. Everything seemed to slow down. At the same time there was a lot being stirred up deep within me.

As I struggled to find words to describe what I was feeling to friends and family the only words that would come to mind were "I feel like I am in a cocoon." From the outside it appeared that nothing was happening, but on the inside, there was chaos and confusion. Through it all I was practicing acceptance. "I am where I am and it's ok."

It was as if something inside of me was dying to make room for something new. A metamorphosis! In each moment I gave my self permission to be where I needed to be. I let go of judgment. Instead of questioning "why", I remained curious. I was open to experience whatever it was that was emerging from within. In the past I would force myself to move through it quickly. Knowing all the tools I do, I would have judged myself for not being able to shift from chaos back into peace. Deep down I knew it was all necessary. Everything was perfect.

When you imagine the process a caterpillar goes through to become a butterfly, there would be a perception of chaos and even messiness. I am reminded of Rev Michael Beckwith "Bless the mess. Something is trying to be born. Bless the mess." That is what I did, over and over and over again. I blessed the mess. Like the caterpillar I entered into the metamorphosis with a deep sense of trust and I completely surrendered to the process.

Today I woke up at 4:30am wide awake with my creative juices flowing again. I have emerged! As I spread my new wings I have a renewed sense of strength and purpose. I am ready to touch the lives of many. I am ready to fly!

Baby Showers - To Go or No Show

Fertility challenges can impact every area of your life. A common social challenge is deciding whether to attend a baby shower or not. Listen to this Redefining Fertility radio show episode where I talk about my experience with baby showers and birth announcements as well as the common concerns clients have about how to handle social events.

Redefining Fertility Radio Show is hosted by the WIN - Women's Information Network
Click here to listen

Stress & Fertility Radio Show Series

Redefining Fertility Radio Show on The WIN - The Women's Information Network

Discover and dissolve limiting thoughts and beliefs that may be interfering with your ability to conceive.

Experience a refreshing dialogue about fertility while learning effective mind body tools that will help you transform your experience and inspire you to find meaning on your journey.

Join a global conversation with Sue Dumais, a woman who believes in your dream of becoming a Mother and someone who will hold faith for you, no matter what!

Stress & Fertility Series
Research shows the higher a woman’s stress level the less likely she is to get pregnant. Research also suggests that mind-body techniques that elicit a relaxation response such as meditation and yoga can reduce stress and increase a couple’s chance of conceiving.

Tune into this series Stress & Fertility and discover your stress warning signals and learn effective mind body tools that you can use right away to help you reduce stress and anxiety. 

Click here to listen online

New inspirational episodes are available each week!

Free downloadable podcasts of each episode is also available on itunes.

Shake it Off!

I am sure you have heard the expression "just shake it off". I hear it a lot when I watch my nephews play sports.  The coach will often say "it's ok, shake it off" to encourage the them to let go of a bad catch or bad call from the referee. It sounds simple and sometimes silly when you think about it but for my self and many of my clients it is an incredible tool to help reduce stress and let go of anxiety.

While this tool may not work for everyone it just might work for you. I would encourage you to do it a few different times and decide whether it resonates for you. If it does then I encourage you to use as often as you can.

Shake It Off!

This is a very playful way to release or shift any stuck energy from your physical body. Like water off a duck’s back this exercise allows you to let go without attachment. Just let it roll off. Anytime you feel frustrated or irritated by something, try this exercise. I promise you will be pleasantly surprised at how effective and easy it is to let go.

Preparation: Lay on your back with your arms and legs in the air. Shake your arms and legs in whatever way feels good. Be guided by your own comfort and move whatever way you want. Shake for about 10-30 seconds then release your arms and legs to the floor. Be aware of the physical sensations. Notice your arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet and toes. Be aware of your emotions. Do you still feel the negative emotion or have your shaken it loose? Repeat as needed.

Modifications: Start with shaking the arms only or legs only.

Option: Shake it off while standing. There are no rules! Just do what feels good. 


Source: Yoga for Fertility Handbook by: Sue Dumais
Photo credit: Adrienne Thiessen of Gemini Visuals

Our Deepest Fear...

I came home late Sunday night from a weekend in Los Angeles where I experienced a live training event with my mentors and coaches Les Brown and Paul Martinelli. I have learned so much from them since I began the Empowerment Mentorship Program in the spring.

I realized over the weekend that I am playing small. From the outside one would think I am playing big. I have big accomplishments and achieved many goals in my life. Someone looking at my life would think I am doing big things and I would agree they are big and amazings accomplishments but to be completely honest with you, I am actually playing small when you compare it to what I know in my heart I am capable of.

So I have decided to go back to LA this weekend and begin a 6 month speaker training program with Les Brown. He is an international motivational speaker who I know will help me take my career to the next level. He will be my coach and mentor who will support me to reach my dreams and kick me in the butt when I am too afraid to take action. I am being called to do something much larger than what I am currently doing and it is time for me to take action. It is time for me to play big even though I am scared to take the leap! I also know that in taking this next step with Les Brown, it will allow me to move forward with the adoption of my little girl. Doors are opening! The stones are being placed on my path and I am following the path before me with my heart wide open.

I will leave you with one of my favourite piece of inspiration by Marianne Williamson.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson

Chaos, A Sign of New Birth

I wanted a video of the recorded Sunday service I attended at AGAPE in LA. It was such an incredibly warm and welcoming environment. I listened to Rev Michael Beckwith's message again today and it is a powerful one that landed deep in my heart. I thought I would share with you.

The monthly theme was: The Courage to Emerge. Sunday's Topic: Chaos, A Sign of New Birth

On your fertility path there will be chaos, there will be challenges and perceived obstacles. From the chaos something new is wanting to be born. This message has helped me realize that following my calling to speak to the world is not coming at the price of putting my desire to adopt on hold. In fact, it is allowing both my callings to emerge and be born into existence. I need to create an environment within me and
"with out" that will be conducive for it's growth. I am giving birth to a new way of being in my life personally and professionally and on some level it scares me and on a deeper soul level, I know it is time to take the leap and grow my wings on the way down.

I hope video inspires you as much as it has inspired me!

Namaste~ Sue

P.S. If you are unable to watch the entire service Rev Michael Beckwith's message is around the 36 min mark of the video. 

Click here to watch.

Fertility Yoga As a Life Practice

It is no secret that dealing with fertility challenges can create a great deal of stress in every area of your life, including your relationship, career, health, social interactions and friendships. The worry and negative thoughts can quickly take over and become all consuming. My intention in writing this article is to give you some tools to use on or off the mat so you can receive the benefits of a regular Fertility Yoga practice no matter where you are.

Click here to read the article

Redefining Fertility Radio Show with Sue Dumais

Fertility is very misunderstood and negatively portrayed in media today. Many women deal with this deeply emotional life experience in isolation because people in their life just “don’t get it”. I am passionate about creating awareness and educating others about fertility so that women and couples all over the world can find the support they so desperately seek. It is time to start a global conversation to help redefine fertility and empower women through this challenging life experience.

I want every woman who is struggling to conceive to realize that they are not alone and that their fertility does not have to define who they are. In fact, by redefining fertility you can transform your experience of it all together. Imagine moving from a place of confusion and desperation to a place of empowerment, HOPE and FAITH. I want you to feel inspired to live each day without putting your life on hold. I will help you discover limiting thoughts and beliefs that may be interfering with your ability to conceive and you will learn simple and effective mind body tools to help you transform your fertility journey. You can be a Mother! I believe in you, and I will help you believe in your Self.

Sue Dumais' Redefining Fertility

Radio Show is hosted by

The WIN - Women's Information Network.

To listen to the show click here

Everything is Perfect, Including You!

I wanted to share this inspirational video on perfection. I understand that when you are going through your fertility journey it is common to focus on what isn't working, what's wrong and who's to blame. This creates confusion, questioning and doubt. Many couples begin to blame their body, question their relationship and some even believe they are being punished.

What if there was nothing wrong? What if all that was happening at this time had a deeper meaning that you don't yet have in your awareness? What is everything was perfect?What if there was nothing wrong with you and that you were PERFECT just the way you are?

I have learned from Paul Martinelli and Les Brown that "we are born perfect but programmed for failure". I lead a Fertility Support Group last night and there was discussion around stats and others opinions about your fertility. No one knows what you need! No one else truly knows why you are experiencing this life challenge. Only you can discover that for your SELF.

Drop the labels like "unexplained infertility". It is not your Truth! It is a label that western medicine uses to describe someone that has been through all the testing they have available to them and everything has come back as normal. It is only "unexplained" in their eyes and you need to realize that their perspective is only one small piece of your fertility puzzle.

Finding meaning on your fertility journey will help you transform your experience of it. We often can look back at an experience and recognize why something happened. In hindsight, we can appreciate the lesson, learning or gifts that occurred as a direct result. What is one thing you learned about your Self or your relationship through your fertility experience that you wouldn't have otherwise discovered?

You are perfect in every way! You are a beautiful, vibrant, fertile being! Breathe it in and receive this message with your whole heart!



You Are Perfect Motivational Inspirational Video from Paul Martinelli on Vimeo.

Forgiveness & Fertility

What does forgiveness really have to do with fertility? Everything! In fact, forgiveness is about every area of your life. You cannot separate forgiveness because it affects your entire being - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. As I have mentioned several times I am participating in an Empowerment Mentorship program with Les Brown and Paul Martinelli. The last 2 weeks I have been avoiding the lesson on forgiveness. My EGO would say "I do forgiveness everyday. I don't have anything else to forgive." That is my way of avoiding. Interestingly I can't ignore or avoid anything for any length of time without it showing up in my body as discomfort and eventually, if I leave it too long, pain.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not about anyone else but YOU! Unforgiveness is a toxin in your body that will continue to poison you until you make a conscious effort to forgive and let go. Forgiveness is not about proving right or wrong, in fact, it is not about anyone else. While you may need to forgive another person for what they said or did to you, the act of forgiveness is giving you freedom to take back your power.

When I reflect back on my miscarriage I remember being so angry with the Universe for taking my baby from me. Then I was angry with my Self. After working on several levels of forgiveness I realized I was angry with my baby for leaving. Of course as soon as I became aware of that, I turned from anger to guilt for even thinking that thought. The pain and resentment showed up as tension in my lower belly and pelvis. There can be many layers to forgiveness and depending on the circumstances you may need to forgive in layers. In other situations it is as simple as making a conscious choice to forgive.

Many of my clients hold resentment toward a doctor for treating them poorly or for not being empathic to their emotions around fertility. Some are angry with friends and family for the lack of support, for not "getting it" and perhaps for unsupportive comments that felt hurtful or insulting. Some have trouble forgiving themselves for their past and decisions that they continue to carry guilt and shame around, such as an abortion when they were younger. Whatever it is, those negative emotions are a toxin in your body that will cause unnecessary tension in your body and lead to pain and other health issues.

These are three pillars of forgiveness that I learned in my training with Paul Martinelli that was based on the teachings of the Dalai Lama.

1. Separate the person from the behaviour. If you can see yourself forgiving the person not the behaviour you might find it easier. When I was sexually abused as a child it was difficult to let go of my attachment to the pain and suffering it caused so I blamed the individuals for a long time. When I separated the behaviour from the individual I became more compassionate. My dialogue became "Wow they must have experienced some deep pain in their life to do that to a 5 year old child."  Forgiveness doesn't mean what they did was right, it is about letting go of the resentment and taking your power back.

2. Recognize that you don't know the whole Truth. You can create a story of why they did what they did but you really have no idea and in many cases neither do they. Many people have trouble dealing with their own pain so they project it on others. Many people live their life in fear and have no idea how to love. Let go of the story you are telling yourself and take ownership for your feelings. This is where you take back control.

3. Ask for help releasing the toxin of unforgiveness. Whether you write a poem, a letter (that you don't send), pray, blog, release the pain and resentment to the universe or God for healing. Whatever you need to do to let go. Just know that you don't have to do it all alone! There are others out there to support you.

I invite you to look at your life and see if there is an area or someone you need to forgive. If you need help with the process feel free to contact me or leave a comment. You are not alone! We all need to forgive so perhaps if we join together and each week commit to forgiving one thing or one person we can support each other as we slowly step back into our personal power.

Finding Meaning on Your Fertility Journey

When I look back at the last 9 years of my fertility journey it has been quite a ride. After my miscarriage in 2001 there is no way anyone could have convinced me that my life would be what it is today as a direct result of that life experience. At the time I couldn't see beyond my desire to get pregnant again as quickly as possible. I had such a deep sense of loss that each menstrual cycle felt like a miscarriage all over again. This went on for years until I realized that there was much more to my fertility journey than the loss I was clinging to. Little did I know that this life experience would enrich my life as much as it has.

As I look back at my journey I have so many gifts and gems. In hindsight, everything makes sense. Please join me as I share with you the meaning I have found around my fertility journey. I will also help you discover meaning in your fertility journey. This presentation will be life altering. You will never look at your fertility the same. It will transform your experience and give you a fresh new perspective that will allow you to come into a place of power and give you a renewed sense of control.

Finding Meaning on Your Fertility Journey

Feel inspired as Sue Dumais shares her fertility journey as well as the miracles she has witnessed in her Fertility Yoga classes and Yoga Therapy sessions. There is so much more to fertility than we realize and this FREE presentation will inspire you to find meaning on your journey. As you find meaning, you will find peace, and in the peace, ANYTHING is possible.

Location: The Fort Gallery
9048 Glover Road
Fort Langley, BC
Date: Sat May 29th
Time: 4:00 - 5:00pm

The Fort Gallery presents: inconceivable
Paintings & Instillation by Terry Nurmi
May 19 - June 6
Gallery Hours 12 - 5pm

The Fertility Focus Telesummit

I am pleased to invite you to the Fertility Focus Telesummit.  A first of its kind “virtual event” that you can attend for free!  I will speaking at this event, alongside other fertility experts from around the world.  You can listen in to all the information-packed presentations either online or over the phone every day of the telesummit, starting on May 10th.

Sign up today and secure your free place to attend this exciting event, and become fully informed about what you can do to improve your chances of having a baby.

Click here to read all about the Fertility Focus Telesummit, including details of all the expert presentations, each covering a different aspect of fertility and all offering great advice, ideas and solutions to help you conceive your dream of becoming a parent.

I will be interviewed live on Wed May 12th at 2pm PST

Click here to for more details and to sign up!

EFT and Fertility

I have used EFT many times and often teach it as a tool in my classes and programs. It is such a powerful healing tool and I wanted to share it with you. This article was written by EFT Practitioner Sarah Holland. I hope you enjoy it! Hugs, Sue

EFT is an easy technique to learn and use, for successful stress reduction and emotional well-being. Based on the same theories as Chinese acupuncture, it is stunningly effective for dissolving negative emotions including anxiety, worry, fear and anger. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques, and the principle behind it is simple:

The cause of ALL negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system.

EFT utilises the meridian system which has been used in acupuncture for thousands of years. This modern development uses no needles, but instead a simple tapping technique on specific points on the face, upper body and hands while focussing on the emotional issue you want to work on and repeating words and phrases to help the process. The tapping on these special points balances the energy disruptions, releases negative emotions, and helps us back into a state of balance where we approach challenges with a rational and logical outlook. Unnecessary negative emotion which is unhealthy and damaging is resolved with EFT and replaced with more healthy emotions that benefit our physical and emotional well-being. The tapping can seem a little crazy at first, but once you get started you will soon understand how quickly it can reduce, and usually eliminate, intense negative emotions.

So how can EFT help with fertility issues? Anyone who has been trying for a baby for some time knows all about the rollercoaster of emotions involved. Common emotions include jealousy, anxiety, panic, fear, worry and guilt. And although you know that stress can further block your attempts at conception, it’s so difficult to switch off these emotions, especially when you get a negative pregnancy test, or your period shows up.

EFT is also a highly effective technique at removing psychological blocks to conception. Past traumas, memories, beliefs about pregnancy, birth and parenthood, can all affect how you truly feel about having a baby. You may feel ready to be a parent, but are there any hidden blocks that are stopping you from conceiving? EFT helps you identify and resolve these blocks, and move you towards having your baby.

Fertility treatment such as IVF can increase your stress levels even further, as so much hope and expectation is built up around ‘Test Day’. You wouldn’t choose to put yourself through so much stress when you are trying for a baby, but when faced with the challenge of fertility issues it seems inevitable. Or is it?

Many women all over the world are using EFT to improve their chances of conception. It’s a popular technique because, unlike other methods, it can be used both in a therapy session and as a self-help technique, it often works very quickly which also makes it low cost, and the results can be outstanding. Here’s what some women said about their use of EFT for fertility issues. (They had all been trying for a baby for a number of years, and became pregnant soon after).

"It was hard to believe how quickly EFT worked for me. I had trouble dealing day to day with issues surrounding my infertility problems. Just thinking about them brought up so much anger and frustration and jealousy towards other women who were pregnant or had babies. After using EFT I felt all the anger, frustration and jealousy lift. I'm definitely much more relaxed now and people have even commented that I seem happier."
- SM (now a mother to 2 children)

"I first used EFT on the day I got a negative pregnancy test after IVF and I could barely talk I was crying so much. EFT helped me to relate what the emotions were and enabled me to hope for the best at the next attempt."
- J (now a mother)

"I am a very anxious person and was aware that stress and anxiety can have an effect of fertility. EFT helped me to identify my feelings of panic and fear at not being able to conceive naturally and also addressed my feelings of envy for friends who conceived easily. After using EFT I was surprised by the change in my outlook. I am now feeling far more positive about the journey I am on in order to have family of my own and hoping for a blue line soon!"
- AL (now a mother)

EFT can be learnt as a self-help technique at little or no cost. To learn EFT from scratch and use it specifically for fertility issues to improve your chances of conception, the ebook ‘Overcoming Infertility with EFT’ is ideal. It gives clear EFT instruction and is in a practical, easy to use format that is suitable for all fertility issues. Read more about 'Overcoming Infertility with EFT' click here.

You may like to work with a professional EFT practitioner, either over the phone or in person, in addition to using EFT by yourself. Some people find that even more can be achieved this way, and more complex issues can be approached. Sarah Holland, the author of 'Overcoming Infertility with EFT', is a Certified EFT Practitioner who specialises in optimising fertility. She is based in the UK and works over the phone with people all over the world.

Sarah Holland www.TapIntoYourPotential.com

Understanding your Chakras

This is the first of a series of blog posts that will explore the body's chakras or energy centers in relationship to your fertility.

A chakra is an energy center in the body. We have 7 main chakra centers. Each one is connected to our whole being on many different levels – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Each chakra has its own color and vibration and is governed by an endocrine gland.

When a chakra is out of balance there may be an energetic block or the energy center may be over-active or under-active. If any of the chakras are out of balance or blocked, it may affect you on a physical, mental and/or emotional level. For example many of my clients are desperately seeking answers and solutions to their fertility issues. This often leads to an over-active 6th chakra (3rd eye) creating tension in the sinuses, a busy mind and confusion.

I notice this often when I work one-on-one with my clients.  I place one hand on the front and and one hand on the back of the 6th chakra.  I can feel that the front is open wide and the back is closed or neglected. I will often close the front of the 6th chakra and they feel instant calm in the mind as their body sinks into the mat.

This series of blog posts will help you understand how your energy effects your fertility. As you become aware of each chakra and the potential blocks associated with it, you create awareness. Remember awareness is the first key to transformation or change. When you become aware of something you can do something to shift it. 

This series will help you identify any negative blocks in your chakras. Some of the blocks you will be able to clear your self while others you may need some further help. I will guide you through your body's energy centers and help direct you as you come back into alignment.

You Can Be a Mother! Fertility Meditation

 Some of you may have heard this meditation as an audio link. I have created a visual presentation that I hope will help inspire you to believe in your dream.  

Click here to watch and experience this meditation!

Stop “Trying” to Get Pregnant!

Has anyone ever told you to just stop trying to get pregnant and it will happen? Sure it sounds simple but why would you “stop trying” when all you want is to have a baby. How do you get pregnant if you are “not trying”?

The moment my husband and I decided we would “start trying” to get pregnant something shifted in me. Immediately lovemaking became baby-making and I had an expectation that it would happen right away. After all, I went my whole life “trying” NOT to get pregnant, so naturally when I began to “try” I believed it would happen within the first couple of months. Each month that passed without a pregnancy became heavier, more emotionally draining and exhausting.

As the months passed I began to “try” everything and anything that I read or heard about thinking it will increase my chances of conceiving. It quickly become all consuming and I felt like I was spiraling out of control. I tried and tried and tried, and nothing was working. I began to doubt whether I would ever become pregnant. I began to question everything including my relationship, I felt defeated and desperate.

I decided I would stop “trying” and began “inviting”.

Listen to how different these 2 sound and feel.

I have been “trying” to get pregnant for 2 years.
OR
I have been “inviting” conception for 2 years.

“Trying” feels heavy, tiring and worrisome like you’ve been banging your head against the wall for 2 years. “Trying” also brings up feelings of failure. It’s like you have been trying and trying and you can’t make it happen. You begin to blame yourself, your body, your partner. “Inviting” is the opposite. It feels like you’re doing something positive and productive.

Throughout your fertility journey, it’s important to keep in mind that you and your partner are not the only ones to consider. Imagine that your baby is waiting to join you. Although you may be ready, perhaps your baby isn’t quite ready yet. Or maybe your baby needs some encouragement.

I invite you to stop “trying” and begin to “invite” your baby in to your life. Tell him/her how much you will love them and care for them. Tell them stories about your partner and how you are both so excited to become their parent. Tell them you are grateful that they have chosen you, “invite” them into your heart and surround them with love. Continue to live your life and do the things that bring you joy and happiness. If you are no longer “trying” you will have more energy to live your life and appreciate all that is available to you in each moment. And you will have a greater likelihood of conceiving. Give it a try you’ll be surprised by the freedom it creates!

Fertile Wisdom Affirmations

I have created the following online Fertile Wisdom Affirmation cards to inspire you each day. You can access them through this blog post or on my website at www.familypassages.ca under the monthly highlights.
You will find beautiful butterfly cards with daily wisdom and affirmations. I have written them using the words I often repeat in the Fertility Yoga classes. Many of them are my life lessons as well.

My gift to you on your journey. I wish you all the best I am hope I can continue to inspire and empower you on your fertility path.

Click here to access your daily Fertile Wisdom Affirmation

 Namaste, Sue

It Truly is a Miracle

This is a poem I wrote after listening to the song "I still Standing" by Mindy McCready. I was deeply touched by the words and I realized I have been addicted to many things in my life including my fertility. I was addicted to the suffering, the confusion, the pain, the sadness.  I have come a long way in the last 9 years of fertility. I am here to tell you that it doesn't have to be so hard. I am here to inspire you to take a different path. I am not saying it won't be difficult but you have the ability to transform your experience of fertility by using the tools I have shared throughout my blog. It is not enough for me to want it for you. You need to choose to use these tools each and every day so that you can return to living your life. Remember, life is occurring NOW! 

I invite you to see your fertility path as a journey of self discovery. I know you can find peace along the way. You will discover gifts throughout and I invite you to practice gratitude. Be grateful for those times where you had a breakthrough or a realization that changed your life. No matter what happens on your journey, no matter where you land...you can either let it knock you down and beat you up, or you can walk the path with courage, faith and trust so that in the end you can be standing tall.

My fertility journey saved my life and for that I am forever grateful. I am here today to help inspire and empower you by sharing my own life experiences. My journey has been a true miracle in my life and I am so honored to be able to inspire you through your journey. Every moment of my past has allowed me to grow into the woman I am today. I would not change a thing. You have the ability to overcome any obstacle. You have the power within to move mountains just as much as I do! I believe in you!I will hold faith for you until you believe as much as I do!

Click here to hear the song that inspired my poem below.This poem is about my entire life including the pain through my early years of fertility.

It truly is a miracle

By Sue Dumais

It truly is a miracle

that I am here and standing tall

I lost myself completely

 I got caught up in it all

My life was full of pain

Suffering was all I knew

I did all I could to numb it out

but through it all I grew

Through all the pain I found my way

And came out the other side

Through the darkness I found the light

There was no where left to hide

As I woke up from my dream of pain

I realized I had a choice

To continue on this destructive path

Or to hear my inner voice

It whispers to me constantly

Encouraging me to see

The unlimited potential

And the greatest within Me

When I look back at the life I lived

There were miracles all around

It amazes me to be standing here

With two feet on the ground

The path I chose for all those years

Was a struggle everyday

If I had continued to walk that path

I wouldn’t be here to say

You deserve a life that’s full of joy

You deserve to have it all

The joy is deep within you

It will hold you when you fall

In every moment you have a choice

To choose love or to choose fear

Embrace your greatness, expand your heart

Peace is always near.

Surrounding yourself with Support

I understand how isolating your fertility journey may seem. It is difficult to share with others for fear of judgment or perhaps out of fear of how they will respond. Unless people have had a personal experience with fertility chances are they won't "get it". Isolating yourself will only shut yourself off from the love and support you need during this challenging time.

I often suggest to clients that they find someone in their life that they believe would be a good support. Someone they believe they can trust and someone who can listen deeply without judgment. Reflect on the people in your life and see if you can think of someone that you feel would be able to support you. I want you to consider someone outside your relationship.

Once you have thought of someone before you talk to them I want to you clearly identify what you need from them. Do you just need them to listen? Are you looking for someone who can hug you or comfort you? What don't you need from them? If you could have the support you need at this time, what would that look like? How would it feel to have the support you need? Put your answers in writing. Clearly state what you need from the other person.

Before you open up about your challenges I suggest you share what you need from them first.
Here is a example: "I am about to tell you something that has been very challenging for me. What I need most is for you to listen. It may be hard for you to understand because most people who haven't lived through this don't really get it. I don't need your advice or for you to try and help me fix it. I just need someone that can support me by hearing me. Can you do that for me?"

If they say yes, they share a little bit of your fertility journey with them and see how it feels for you. Share as long as you feel safe. It will feel scary and uncomfortable at first especially if you haven't really talked about it with others but it will become a little easier. The hardest part is to begin.

I would suggest sharing this article as well so that others can have a better understanding of fertility challenges. It is filled with suggestions of what to say and what not to say when talking about fertility. Share it as much as you like. Pass it on to others that you believe would benefit from reading it.
Proper Etiquette When Speaking About Fertility

If you can't think of someone in your life that you can trust to share then I suggest you look for a support group in your area. Visit www.iaac.ca for Fertility Support Groups across Canada and http://www.resolve.org for the US. There is so much more online support these days through online chat rooms, message boards etc. Be sure to surround yourself with positive environments of support. Some chat rooms will be full of negative experiences that may make you feel worse.

Fertility Yoga classes can be much like a yoga support group. It is comforting to walk in the room and realize you are not alone. To find a class in your area visit www.yogaforfertilityresources.com 

Although there are times when you may feel misunderstood or isolated, I assure you that you are not alone! Reach out for support in whatever way you can. Please remember that I am always here to support you!

A New Path is Revealed

My husband and I met with an adoption agency on Wednesday morning to discuss our options regarding African adoption. I was so nervous and anxious going to the appointment and at the same time excited to learn more. It was the first step toward fulfilling my dream and following my heart.

I believe the fear and anxiety was related to making the commitment. I know when I set my mind to something it is as good as done. While I have been really drawn to the idea of adopting my daughter from Africa when it comes right down to it, I realize it is a huge commitment. I am not only speaking about the financial commitment I am also referring to the time, energy, dedication, paperwork, etc etc. There is so much to consider especially with international adoption. I am being realistic and open to this new adventure. I am not sure where this road will lead but I am excited about taking the first step.

Since our appointment we have more questions and hope to speak to other families who have successfully adopted a child from Africa so we can prepare ourselves the best we can. Of course there is no way to prepare for everything that will land on our path, at least we can gather as much information as possible so we will have more tools along the way.

After our appointment I was really excited then gradually throughout the day the reality of our financial picture kicked in and my stress level went through the roof. I felt pressure to change it immediately. I wanted it all to go away so it didn't feel like an obstacle anymore. My stomach and intestines were churning. My upper limit kicked in with "worry" (see previous blog post Have You Mastered the Art of Self Sabotage?) Luckily I had an acupuncture appointment that afternoon so that helped but it wasn't until I spoke to my husband that I felt relieved of the discomfort completely. I realized I tend to put so much pressure on myself to be able to make it happen. I suddenly took it all on that I had to make it happen. I forgot that my husband would be able to help. As we were speaking I was in Child's Pose to help ease my stomach. I suddenly realized that I don't have to do this all alone. In fact, my husband is interested in doing this with me. It was comforting and the thought of doing this together immediately eased my anxiety and my symptoms disappeared.

I realized how often I isolate myself from him. Throughout our fertility journey I forgot that he was having his experience as well. I am not alone and I have never been alone! He is always there for me no matter what. Even when he doesn't understand, he is always there to comfort me, to listen, to hold me and to love me with his whole heart. It is me who withdraws or closes myself to his love. It is a process of awareness and letting go of my old patterns and this was just another opportunity to heal and let go.

I am excited about our path to explore adoption because I really feel he can be a more active participant. Not that he wasn't before but for the most part it was my body and my health that I was focusing on. Now it feels like I can take the pressure off me and focus my energy on being the healthiest I can be without the pressure of having to get my body to a point where it can support a pregnancy. I am not sure if my body can handle a pregnancy and perhaps it never will be able to. I am ok with that. I have found peace with the idea that my daughter will come to me through another path.

As I listen to that soft loving voice saying "come this way" it is leading me toward adoption. My husband asked me why I was so interested in Africa instead of local adoption or another country. I cannot explain it in words. It is a feeling I have deep in my heart. A voice that whispers to me guiding me toward my daughter. I am not attached to the path I take. I am being guided and I am willing to let my path reveal itself. At this time it is clear my path is leading me to Africa.

In the last few days I have asked the universe for someone to help guide me, mentor me and inspire me the way I inspire my clients. I am deeply grateful to have found an incredible mentor that will support me through the next year. I will keep you posted. For now I will share that I see my life transforming. I will go from climbing a mountain to moving mountains. I am honored to be mentored by this incredible team of individuals that I know will help me reach beyond anything I could ever possibly dream of.

I only have the privilege of seeing a glimpse of what is ahead of me and I am so excited! I am stepping onto an exciting new path that I know will change my life forever and at the same time inspire all those around me who bear witness. Doors are opening in directions I didn't expect and I am so deeply grateful! My heart is full of love and gratitude as I write these words. I look forward to continuing to share my journey with you.
Namaste

Fertility Yoga Teacher Training - Live Webinar - Is it for You?

I developed my Fertility Yoga Teacher Training course because I was receiving emails and calls from women all over the world looking for support. They were reaching out and yearning for a sense of belonging and community through their fertility challenges. It broke my heart each time I had to tell them that I didn't know of anyone in their area and that the chances of them finding a class were slim.

I was the first instructor in Canada to begin to teaching Yoga for Fertility classes and I witnessed so many miracles over the years that I felt compelled to share my experiences and knowlegde. I am not looking to fill up this course with just anyone. I am looking for individuals who have a deep calling to teach Fertility Yoga or have a personal experience with fertility. Perhaps you are someone who is currently experiencing your own fertility challenges and would like to take this course to help you heal personally while developing your skills to support others through their fertility challenges.

I have given birth to this course, it is one of my babies and I am looking for others that will take the material and healing experience and spread the love and support to others all around the world.

If something within you is ignited by my words then I invite you to visit my website for more information or contact me to find out more. I know there are others out there that are ready to bear witness to the miracles and community that Fertility Yoga classes offer.

Next Live Webinar is on Apr 24th & 25th 

For more information visit www.familypassages.ca

To find a Fertility Yoga class in your area visit www.yogaforfertilityresources.com 

Have you Mastered the Art of Self Sabotage?

I picked up the book The Big Leap again to read because I know that my inability to receive love fully is related to an upper limit problem. I read it in November and this book changed my life. Most of my life has been based on self sabotaging behaviors. It is a very familiar pattern and in fact, I believe I truly mastered the art of self sabotage.

In the book Gay Hendricks talks about how each of us have internal thermostats established early in our lives, many during childhood. You have an internal thermostat for everything such as love, happiness, abundance, joy, trust etc. My internal thermostat for joy and happiness is set very low. I was a very serious child with a lot of worries. I worried about my Mom having to take care of us 3 children, I worried about my brother and sister fighting and wished they would just be friends, I worried about money and decided I would get a job as soon as possible to help out. I worried about everything and I became more and more serious as I grew up.

When I live within the lower range of my internal thermostat for joy and happiness it is comfortable only because it is familiar. It is what I know well. As I reach beyond my upper limit and begin to feel more joy than I am used to feeling, I become afraid because it is unfamiliar and I feel unsafe. When I am above my upper limit for a period of time I will eventually subconsciously sabotage myself in order to bring myself back into my zone of comfort or familiarity.

What I noticed about receiving love fully especially from someone who I care deeply about, it was above exceeding my upper limit for love. Now don't get me wrong I was certainly loved as a child but as I grew up I started to believe that I didn't deserve love. I wasn't good enough to deserve the love of others so I would shut them out. Not always entirely but enough that I could remain within the lower range of my internal thermostat for love.

In the early years of my fertility journey I isolated myself even more from friends and family. I felt misunderstood. I was confused and shut my heart down. I became distant and my relationships were more on the surface which felt safe at that time. Since opening the studio I have been able to feel more love and express more love but there is part of me that is still afraid and feels unsafe when my heart is too wide open. Over the years I have been able to open it more and more and inch my way up, pushing my upper limit. When I exceed my upper limit I can only stay there for short periods of time before fear creeps in. When the fear shows up I will subconsciously self sabotage. I notice my self sabotaging behavior more and more since reading The Big Leap. My most common self sabotaging behaviors are "blame & criticism" and "worry".

I have written many times about the 3 A's and the process for change. The fist A is Awareness. Awareness is the first key to break this cycle so for the last couple of weeks I have been observing my patterns. In my last blog post I talked about allowing my emotions so I can move through them and not suppress them. I used a process called the emotional scale along with the second key to change which is Acceptance. Now it is time to take Action.

When I notice my heart is closed (awareness) I practice acceptance. I make peace with it so that there is no room for blame or criticism. Now I make a different choice. I consciously choose a different behavior. So in the next few days if my husband reaches out to hug me. I will stop what I am doing, no matter what, and receive his hug fully. I will imagine my heart open wide and allow his love to reach me. Although at first it may feel uncomfortable at times, I need to break through this upper limit. I told my husband that I am not willing to let past hurt come between us. My relationship means to much to me. It is time to break this cycle I have seen it play out over and over again in the last 9 years. I am ready to breakthrough this upper limit. I am ready to open my heart fully to give and receive love in all areas of my life including my family.

I encourage you to pick up the book The Big Leap and begin to create awareness about your upper limits and self sabotaging behaviors. If you have questions feel free to post it under comments. I am here to help you expand into your full potential. You are not alone! Let's do it together.

Understanding & Allowing Your Emotions

Yesterday was a challenging day. After writing in my blog I felt very nervous and agitated. I knew I had put it out there and I could not "not" deal with it. Remember this was something I have been struggling with for most of my life so it would be easy to pretend it wasn't really an issue and go on with my day. Writing about it made it real. It made me need to face it head on. Needless to say yesterday was an emotional day.

I experienced many different layers of emotions and by the end of the day I was frustrated, irritated, impatient and angry. Knowing what I do about the emotional scale I was able to allow those emotions to move through me with acceptance. I didn't need to change or deny them, I just needed to make peace and allow them so I could move beyond them.

Let me first explain the emotional scale. I learned about the emotional scale by studying the teachings of Abraham-Hicks. I also learned in my coaching course that anger is healthy as long as it is expressed in a positive way. The negative expression of anger is through violence, which can be physical or emotional abuse. Society teaches us that anger is negative and that we "shouldn't be angry". When you look at the emotional scale you will realize why it is vital to find a healthy way to feel and express your anger.

This is the emotional scale from the Teachings of Abraham-Hicks.
 The Emotional Guidance Scale

1.	Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
2.	Passion
3.	Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4.	Positive Expectation/Belief
5.	Optimism
6.	Hopefulness
7.	Contentment
8.	Boredom
9.	Pessimism
10.	Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11.	Overwhelment
12.	Disappointment
13.	Doubt
14.	Worry
15.	Blame
16.	Discouragement
17.	Anger
18.	Revenge
19.	Hatred/Rage
20.	Jealousy
21.	Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22.	Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

From the book “Ask and It is Given”, pg. 114

Your goal is to help yourself go from the lower/bottom of the scale (negative emotions) to the upper part of the scale (positive emotions).

1. The first step is creating awareness. First identify where you are on the scale. How do you feel right now? You may need to look at the emotions on the scale to help you identify your feelings.
2. Acceptance: make peace with how you feel right now. This is what keeps most people stuck. They judge or deny how they are feeling. So by the end of yesterday I was feeling angry and I was ok with it. I don't like to feel anger but I knew I was moving from powerlessness and fear up to anger. So I made peace with the anger and allowed space for it to be. I knew if I accepted it that I would shift up the scale. If I was to judge myself for being angry I would have moved back down the scale to powerlessness.
3. Action: when using the emotional scale to shift from negative emotions to more positive emotions it is important to realize that moving from fear to joy and happiness is a real stretch. So I always reach for a thought that feels like relief from where I am. For example: "I am feeling angry and it's ok, I know I just need to allow myself time to move through this and I will feel better. It can be frustrating because I have all these tools I should be able to move but I know it is only temporary. I am where I am and it's ok." That was part of my process yesterday as I moved between anger and frustration/irritation.

I highly recommend the book Ask and It Is Given by Abraham-Hicks. I have pasted the link and photo of the book at the beginning for a quick reference for you.

I feel so much better today. I feel lighter. I picture my healing process like the layers of an onion. I healed a very difficult layer yesterday and usually from here it gets easier and easier as I go through the other layers. Healing the past does not have to be as painful as the original trauma, in fact, sometimes it can be as easy as changing your mind about something.

I will write more in the next few days. I wanted to give you this piece first so that you could sort out how you are feeling by using the emotional scale. Remember just by being witness and reading my blog you have already begun to heal yourself.

I have as much faith in you and I do in me to get beyond any life obstacle!

Is your heart wide open?

In the last few weeks my heart has opened wider than ever. Comments from friends, colleagues and even people I have never met before have be pouring in surrounding me with encouragement and love as I take this next path on my fertility journey. Some days were so overwhelming that I had to really focus on breathing and receiving. My heart was so full of joy that I thought it would burst. It was in that experience of pure joy and love and it warmed me from the inside. I felt like I was glowing and tears of joy would pour down my cheeks as I read each comment and email.

On my way home on those particular days where I felt so full and I was excited to share it with my husband. Shortly after I would walk through the door I would feel my heart close a bit and some days shut down. I have seen myself do this before so I was curious at first. What I realized was that it felt unsafe to have my heart open that wide while in the presence of someone I loved so deeply. I started to reflect on repetitive patterns when I would open my heart and when I would shut down.

I recognized that every time I travel away from my husband and family I would open my heart and send emails full of loving messages. I would feel a deeper connection when I was away from those I love and I couldn't wait to see them again. Yet once I arrived home in the presence of their love I would shut down my heart again. It hit me after the Team Northrup Retreat where I was surrounded by joy, love and beauty all weekend and my heart was open wide in the presence of my tribe. I noticed the contrast shortly after I arrived home. I was curious why I could open my heart with my Team Northrup tribe but not in my own home.

After speaking to a few friends about it I discovered that I am not the only one that shuts down their heart in the presence of those they love and care about. I began to notice people in social media that I know well and I would see their hearts open fully in their writing, blogging, facebook comments or tweets. Yet I know in their life they have trouble opening their heart fully. Was it the distance or computer that created a perception of safety? Why can someone feel safe enough to open their heart fully while online through social media and then shut down when in the presence of another?

I have been curiously exploring that behaviour for me in the last couple of weeks and this is what I discovered. My heart is fully open with my clients at the studio, through social media, by email and sometimes by phone especially if someone is not in the same city as me. My heart shuts down with my Mother (who is staying with me), my husband and other family members and close friends. Why do I feel "unsafe" to open my heart fully in those circumstances? I discovered a deep seeded fear of being "hurt" by someone who I love. This reaction feels like it is coming from so deep within me and it feels more like survival instincts. It is not only unsafe it is life threatening.

While I have developed the ability to feel safe in my writing, through my articles, blogs, newsletters and even in my Fertility Support Group and at the studio with clients. I open my heart and share my story, my feelings and my life so openly so that I can heal while I inspire others to heal as well. I discovered that the safest place for me to do that is through social media. I have surrounded myself with like-minded individuals who inspire and empower me to open my heart fully to receive and to give all that I am capable of. I use the safety of my studio and social media to express myself and share the deepest part of me. I am grateful for this media because it has allowed me to open my heart wider than ever. At least now I know what it feels like to experience full joy and pure love. It is in the contrast when I arrive home that I came to realize this pattern. I realize now that it is in my family that I am most vulnerable and afraid to open up fully.

 With all the tools I have in my tool box I am sure there is something in there that can help be breakthrough this self destructive behaviour. It is self destructive because not only and I denying my deep love for others I am denying myself the love they have for me. There is a part of me that feels undeserving but the real fear is of being hurt. I am committed to changing this behaviour in my life. It keeps me from experiencing pure joy in all areas of my life. It keeps me shut off from the full experience of love and in turn shuts me off from living fully. Earlier in my fertility journey my heart shut down completely and I realize many of you out there may be experiencing the isolation. I have come a long way on my fertility journey and I hope you will join me in breaking this cycle.

If you can relate to my words I would love to hear your comments. Together we can explore this deep seeded survival instinct and breakthrough the cycle that holds us imprisoned in a life without pure love and joy. You deserve it as much as I do. Let's do this together. Stay tuned in the next few weeks and together we will move through this. Perhaps that is why I am writing this blog. To recruit your love and support as I guide all of us safely through this process of letting go of past hurts and opening our hearts fully to the love we all deserve.

We can do it!

With much love and appreciation to each of you for being witness to my healing path. You give me strength and inspiration each and every day!

Namaste, Sue