This past summer has been a powerful time of transformation for me personally and professionally. I let go of a lot. I found my self withdrawing and seeking quiet simplicity. Everything seemed to slow down. At the same time there was a lot being stirred up deep within me.
As I struggled to find words to describe what I was feeling to friends and family the only words that would come to mind were "I feel like I am in a cocoon." From the outside it appeared that nothing was happening, but on the inside, there was chaos and confusion. Through it all I was practicing acceptance. "I am where I am and it's ok."
It was as if something inside of me was dying to make room for something new. A metamorphosis! In each moment I gave my self permission to be where I needed to be. I let go of judgment. Instead of questioning "why", I remained curious. I was open to experience whatever it was that was emerging from within. In the past I would force myself to move through it quickly. Knowing all the tools I do, I would have judged myself for not being able to shift from chaos back into peace. Deep down I knew it was all necessary. Everything was perfect.
When you imagine the process a caterpillar goes through to become a butterfly, there would be a perception of chaos and even messiness. I am reminded of Rev Michael Beckwith "Bless the mess. Something is trying to be born. Bless the mess." That is what I did, over and over and over again. I blessed the mess. Like the caterpillar I entered into the metamorphosis with a deep sense of trust and I completely surrendered to the process.
Today I woke up at 4:30am wide awake with my creative juices flowing again. I have emerged! As I spread my new wings I have a renewed sense of strength and purpose. I am ready to touch the lives of many. I am ready to fly!
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2 comments:
Thank you for sharing your journey with us Sue. I really appreciate your honesty. I've been experiencing my own intense internal chaos for months now. I can't wait to see what butterfly emerges!
Thanks Crystal it feels good to fly free! I am excited to see what butterfly emerges in your life as well! In the meantime I will send positive energy to help you find peace in the chaos. Big hug~ Sue
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