Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Trust Your Own Intuition

No one else in the world will truly understand what you are going through. Others may relate or have similar experiences if they have dealt with their own fertility challenges but they won’t truly understand. 

For example, I have an idea of the challenges women and couples face and I understand how difficult it can be. I have personally experienced many of the ups and downs, highs and lows so I “get it". 

While I understand the challenges I can never truly understand the depth of your fertility journey and the effects it has had on your life. No in the world except you (even you won’t fully grasp it at times) know how fertility has affected your life.

At Family Passages Mind Body Studio I have created a safe place for women to come and express their worries, challenges, fears and hopes in their fertility journey. I open my heart fully to listen, to be witness and surround each client with love as they explore the depth of their emotional journey. I have no judgments, I simply listen with an open heart and mind. I empower women by giving them an opportunity to express their regrets of the past, their challenges in the moment and their fears and hopes for the future. The level of healing that occurs in many sessions are miraculous. 

At the same time there are others that are just not ready to look at their life, they are not ready to heal, to let go and move forward. Again I hold space for where they are and gently encourage them to explore their fears and obstacles. I have no expectations only gentle compassionate guidance and love. Some will move some will not. It is not up to me, it is up to them.

There will be people in the world that will have their own opinions about your situation. Family, friends and even strangers will share their advice about what you should and shouldn’t do. 

There are people out there that will tell you that if conception doesn’t happen naturally then “you should face the fact that you are not meant to have children”. 
There are people out there that believe using artificial reproductive techniques is wrong and that you are working against nature. 
There are people out there that believe you are selfish and should adopt a child in need because there are so many children needing a home. At the same time there are people out there that believe adoption is wrong. 

There are so many opinions in the world it is difficult to know who to listen to. Who can really tell you what is best for you? How do you know who to listen to?

I am here to tell you that I have no idea what is best for you and neither does anyone else in the world. There is no one anywhere in the world that can tell you what you need to do. No one else has walked in your shoes. No one else has lived your life experiences. 

No one else will ever truly understand you, because this is your life, your unique experience; this is YOUR fertility journey. YOU and only you can know what is best for YOU. Only you can decide which path to take and when. Only you can decide who to see for help or assistance. Only you can know in you heart what is best for you.

While I encourage you to gather information, at the same time I encourage you to listen with your heart and I encourage you to follow your inner guidance/intuition to help you decide what path is best for you. This is your fertility journey, this is your life and you are the one living it. While you can listen to others opinions and advice, ultimately it is your decision. 

You have the ability, if you choose, to listen to your heart not your head. When you make decisions from your heart you connect to that deep place of knowing within. You connect to your own intuition. Your own inner guidance system that will lead you on the path you are meant to take. It takes some practice to connect to this place within you and it also requires that you TRUST. 

When I listen to my head, it would tell me we can't afford to adopt two children from Africa. It will tell me our house is too small. My head would tell me all the things that could go wrong or how hard it would be. When I listen to the voice in my heart it tells me my TRUTH. It is not a logical decision. It will not make sense to some people and it is even sometimes hard to describe but when I look into my heart, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my daughter is in Africa and I am meant to adopt her. I am her Mother and she chose me just as much as I chose her. 

If I would have continued to listen to others or even let my own thoughts in my head get in my way, I would have not allowed this guidance to come to me. I would have let everyone else convince me why it was a bad idea or that I try egg donor or surrogacy. While I have supported many of my clients through those procedures, it is not my path. Not because I have judgment about it, because I don't, but because I know in my heart the path to my little girl is through adoption.

I encourage you to find a quiet spot, focus on your breath and tune into your heart. While you can listen to others opinions if you choose remember that is it your heart, your decision, your path, your fertility. YOU decide what path you are meant to take. 

Click here to listen to my Redefining Fertility Radio Show episode on this topic. 


Anonymous said...

Dear Sue,
I found your blog in my (at this point) rather desperate attempt to reconnect with hope and not to feel so alone.
All I can say after reading some of your posts and listening to some of your radio shows is THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart and soul, THANK YOU, even when those words sound so inadequate, a cliche. Thank you for sharing your story, thank you for following your calling to help others generously, thank you for acknowledging how challenging this miraculous journey can be and respecting that, thank you for finding the way to accompany me even when we are so many miles apart.
Love, Susana from Argentina

Sue Dumais said...

My dear Susana, I am glad you found me and I am grateful to be a light of HOPE for you on your fertility journey. You are not alone and I am on a mission to help women all over the world realize that. Thank you for your comment, it fills my heart and keeps me doing what I am doing. Big virtual hug, Sue