Sunday, March 14, 2010

Understanding & Allowing Your Emotions

Yesterday was a challenging day. After writing in my blog I felt very nervous and agitated. I knew I had put it out there and I could not "not" deal with it. Remember this was something I have been struggling with for most of my life so it would be easy to pretend it wasn't really an issue and go on with my day. Writing about it made it real. It made me need to face it head on. Needless to say yesterday was an emotional day.

I experienced many different layers of emotions and by the end of the day I was frustrated, irritated, impatient and angry. Knowing what I do about the emotional scale I was able to allow those emotions to move through me with acceptance. I didn't need to change or deny them, I just needed to make peace and allow them so I could move beyond them.

Let me first explain the emotional scale. I learned about the emotional scale by studying the teachings of Abraham-Hicks. I also learned in my coaching course that anger is healthy as long as it is expressed in a positive way. The negative expression of anger is through violence, which can be physical or emotional abuse. Society teaches us that anger is negative and that we "shouldn't be angry". When you look at the emotional scale you will realize why it is vital to find a healthy way to feel and express your anger.

This is the emotional scale from the Teachings of Abraham-Hicks.
The Emotional Guidance Scale
1. Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4. Positive Expectation/Belief
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. Overwhelment
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness
From the book “Ask and It is Given”, pg. 114

Your goal is to help yourself go from the lower/bottom of the scale (negative emotions) to the upper part of the scale (positive emotions).

1. The first step is creating awareness. First identify where you are on the scale. How do you feel right now? You may need to look at the emotions on the scale to help you identify your feelings.
2. Acceptance: make peace with how you feel right now. This is what keeps most people stuck. They judge or deny how they are feeling. So by the end of yesterday I was feeling angry and I was ok with it. I don't like to feel anger but I knew I was moving from powerlessness and fear up to anger. So I made peace with the anger and allowed space for it to be. I knew if I accepted it that I would shift up the scale. If I was to judge myself for being angry I would have moved back down the scale to powerlessness.
3. Action: when using the emotional scale to shift from negative emotions to more positive emotions it is important to realize that moving from fear to joy and happiness is a real stretch. So I always reach for a thought that feels like relief from where I am. For example: "I am feeling angry and it's ok, I know I just need to allow myself time to move through this and I will feel better. It can be frustrating because I have all these tools I should be able to move but I know it is only temporary. I am where I am and it's ok." That was part of my process yesterday as I moved between anger and frustration/irritation.

I highly recommend the book Ask and It Is Given by Abraham-Hicks. I have pasted the link and photo of the book at the beginning for a quick reference for you.

I feel so much better today. I feel lighter. I picture my healing process like the layers of an onion. I healed a very difficult layer yesterday and usually from here it gets easier and easier as I go through the other layers. Healing the past does not have to be as painful as the original trauma, in fact, sometimes it can be as easy as changing your mind about something.

I will write more in the next few days. I wanted to give you this piece first so that you could sort out how you are feeling by using the emotional scale. Remember just by being witness and reading my blog you have already begun to heal yourself.

I have as much faith in you and I do in me to get beyond any life obstacle!


Anonymous said...

Kudos to you Sue for you openness and courage in sharing your healing journey- I agree we each can have healing by opening to your words/journey. Love the emotional guidance scale - I will refer back to this when experiencing my own emotional journey! Thanks for sharing.

Sue Dumais said...

Thank you for your comment. The emotional scale has truly transformed many of my client's lives. It is such a powerful tool to create emotional awareness and gives us permission to identify, allow and express our emotions to help us move through and beyond them. I am glad you found it useful. Big hugs!