Surrounding yourself with Support

I understand how isolating your fertility journey may seem. It is difficult to share with others for fear of judgment or perhaps out of fear of how they will respond. Unless people have had a personal experience with fertility chances are they won't "get it". Isolating yourself will only shut yourself off from the love and support you need during this challenging time.

I often suggest to clients that they find someone in their life that they believe would be a good support. Someone they believe they can trust and someone who can listen deeply without judgment. Reflect on the people in your life and see if you can think of someone that you feel would be able to support you. I want you to consider someone outside your relationship.

Once you have thought of someone before you talk to them I want to you clearly identify what you need from them. Do you just need them to listen? Are you looking for someone who can hug you or comfort you? What don't you need from them? If you could have the support you need at this time, what would that look like? How would it feel to have the support you need? Put your answers in writing. Clearly state what you need from the other person.

Before you open up about your challenges I suggest you share what you need from them first.
Here is a example: "I am about to tell you something that has been very challenging for me. What I need most is for you to listen. It may be hard for you to understand because most people who haven't lived through this don't really get it. I don't need your advice or for you to try and help me fix it. I just need someone that can support me by hearing me. Can you do that for me?"

If they say yes, they share a little bit of your fertility journey with them and see how it feels for you. Share as long as you feel safe. It will feel scary and uncomfortable at first especially if you haven't really talked about it with others but it will become a little easier. The hardest part is to begin.

I would suggest sharing this article as well so that others can have a better understanding of fertility challenges. It is filled with suggestions of what to say and what not to say when talking about fertility. Share it as much as you like. Pass it on to others that you believe would benefit from reading it.
Proper Etiquette When Speaking About Fertility

If you can't think of someone in your life that you can trust to share then I suggest you look for a support group in your area. Visit www.iaac.ca for Fertility Support Groups across Canada and http://www.resolve.org for the US. There is so much more online support these days through online chat rooms, message boards etc. Be sure to surround yourself with positive environments of support. Some chat rooms will be full of negative experiences that may make you feel worse.

Fertility Yoga classes can be much like a yoga support group. It is comforting to walk in the room and realize you are not alone. To find a class in your area visit www.yogaforfertilityresources.com 

Although there are times when you may feel misunderstood or isolated, I assure you that you are not alone! Reach out for support in whatever way you can. Please remember that I am always here to support you!