Monday, August 24, 2009

Child's Pose


This pose calms your nervous system, helps reduce blood pressure and balances the endocrine system. It is a resting pose that relaxes and calms your mind and body while lengthening your spine and reducing tension in your back and neck. In relation to fertility, I recommend performing child’s pose with your knees apart; this allows space for your belly to drop toward the floor with each inhale. Imagine softness in your uterus and ovaries allowing the flow of blood and energy without restriction or tension.

Preparation: Kneel on the floor with your knees slightly wider than your hip joints. Keep your feet together. Sit back with your hips and bring your chest toward the floor. Reach your arms forward and place your hands and forehead on the floor.


Modifications: If there is a space between your heels and pelvis place a block to provide support. You can use a bolster or pillow under your head and arms or bend your elbows and place your hands under your forehead.

Option: Turtle Pose - Place your hands beside your feet or ankles creating more security and safety as you settle into your “shell” for protection.

Inner Reflection: Bring your awareness to your thoughts about yourself and your body. Notice whether your thoughts are positive or negative. Accept the thoughts and imagine them floating away with feeling attached to them. Begin to invite more positive thoughts and perhaps repeat one the following affirmations:
“I love my body and trust it’s wisdom”
“I am whole and complete”
“I accept my body”
“I forgive myself”
“I am fertile”

Source: Yoga for Fertility Handbook by: Sue Dumais
Photo credit: Adrienne Thiessen of Gemini Visuals

Sunday, August 16, 2009

You CHOOSE

It is common on your fertility journey to feel out of control. To feel like everything around you depends on whether you conceive or not. To believe that you have no control and that you are a victim of your circumstance. You try and try and try and nothing seems to work. It is common to blame yourself and others. This can lead you on a very dark path which becomes heavier and heavier, darker and darker as each month passes.

There are moments on your fertility journey that may feel like you have no choice. It may often feel like everything is spiraling out of control. What if your fertility challenge was really an opportunity? Now I know there may be some part of you that suddenly speaks up and wants to argue that point. A voice that is strong and loud. A part of you that feels threatened when you consider that your fertility is not defining you. That voice is your EGO mind, your habitual mind that is attached to pain and suffering.

The EGO mind is your inner voice of fear. It is governed by your habitual mind/subconscious mind. Remember 95% of the thoughts you have each day are thoughts playing like a tape in the back of your mind that you don't physically hear. That tape is an ongoing playback of your deep seeded beliefs about yourself and your life. For example, one my my messages would be "you don't deserve happiness". You can almost visualize it as someone whispering into your ear the same messages over and over and over again even as you sleep.

So how do you begin to change the inner tape of your habitual mind? You begin by becoming more conscious or aware of your thoughts, be curious about the choices you make, use emotional triggers as opportunities to look within and recognize that you have the power to change your mind and thoughts.

Everyday you can listen to the voice of your EGO mind (fear) or the voice of your inner guidance (love). It may help to picture 2 little figures on your shoulders. One is sending you messages of fear "your getting old, your biological clock is ticking, you better act fast or you will never have a baby" the other is sending you messages of love "come this way, be gentle and kind with yourself".

Most of us listen to the voice of EGO because that is what we are taught, that is what is familiar and the voice of FEAR is loud and much more obvious. We created our EGO mind so the good news is we have the ability to make a different choice. My EGO has comforted me most of my life. When I was anorexic my EGO would encourage me not to eat. When I lived most of my life in pain - physically, mentally and emotionally, it was my EGO that encouraged me, supported me and comforted me. It was familiar, therefore it was comforting. It was all I knew.

Yesterday my EGO was in control. I felt discouraged, irritated and annoyed. The challenging part for me is that when I see my EGO take over I get frustrated with myself and tend to want to judge and blame myself. My EGO gets tricksy "you know better, with all the tools you have how could you let your EGO take over today?" Now I could have let it continue to affect me as I slept but I know that the subconscious mind can be healed as we sleep. If you go to sleep feeling irritated and annoyed it will feed those thoughts into your habitual mind. If I look at it as an opportunity to heal and deeper part of myself I can change my mind and raise my energy just before I sleep and that will change my subconscious mind as I sleep. So as I went to bed last night I asked for healing. "I am willing and ready to give this up. I place it in the loving arms of the universe and I ask you for healing. Please heal it deep within my body, I choose love". I always end in gratitude. "Thank you! Namaste". I woke up at 5am inspired to write. I feel at peace again. I feel inspired and grateful.

Everyday in every situation, you have a CHOICE. You can choose FEAR or LOVE. Your EGO would have you choose FEAR because the survival of the EGO depends on your listening to the voice of FEAR. It may get louder and more desperate. But in each moment you can make a different CHOICE. What would the voice of LOVE say here?

This is where the practice of meditation comes in. It will help you quiet the mind enough that you can listen for that soft, quiet, loving voice of LOVE. Today I encourage to ask yourself, am I choosing LOVE or FEAR. Neither is right or wrong but generally the path of LOVE is more peaceful and the path of FEAR is more challenging, sometimes even dark.

You can make a different choice. You can take back control by changing your thoughts and your mind. As you listen more for the voice of LOVE you will find peace. That loving voice with lead you on the path that will help you bring your baby home into your arms. You can do this! Remember to be gentle with yourself. Your EGO will feel threatened and may even begin to speak through others. Again, no blame, shift your thoughts to gratitude for the opportunity to look within and heal another part of SELF. Choose LOVE as often as possible. When you see yourself choosing FEAR, gently listen for the voice of LOVE. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths. Bring your awareness to the right side of your brain then imagine your could look deep into your heart and listen from there.

If I can do it, so can you! I believe in YOU!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Finding Peace in Choas


Yesterday I learned that my entire website and online course database was lost. Although there is talk about a back up from last December, at this time I am not clear what I still have and what I have lost. When I first learned the news I was in shock. Part of me couldn't understand how this could have happened. The odds of all 4 servers including the back up server failing all at once is the same chance of winning the lottery. I was initially devastated. All the work I have put into my new website for the last 4 years was gone and I felt a tremendous loss. When I got off the phone from my web guy I felt sick to my stomach.

My website, my life's work, my passion is so much a part of my life I almost rely on it to keep me grounded and centered. Family Passages is like a child to me and losing a big part of my business felt like a true and deep loss. I went into meditation to find clarity and peace again because at that point my EGO mind was wreaking havoc and I could feel myself going deeper and deeper into darkness.

In my mediation I surrendered to everything. I told the universe "I don't understand but I know and trust there is something I need to learn from this. Please show me another way to look at it so I can continue to stay in a place of peace."

Throughout the day I would get pieces of the puzzle. A friend and marketing coach said to me "if you were considering simplifying your website, this would be the time to do it". The word simplify felt like heaven. It has been a word that has resonated with me for the last few years. I realize there is a tendency for me to jump in and "try" and do it all. Yesterday helped me understand that sending my creative energy into the universe doesn't mean I need to do it all. I have a vision of women and couples all over the world experiencing loving support on their fertility journey and as I see my work spreading I know in my heart I don't need to do it all. I can be the catalyst to ignite my desires and the universe will help manifest everything and more. There are others in the world that can contribute their work and together as one we will make a change in the world of fertility. It is already occurring.

When I first started teaching Yoga for Fertility I was first one in Canada. I also created the first Yoga for Fertility Instructor Training course. Now there is another in the US and I just found out there is now one in Toronto. Now my EGO (fear) would tell me "all these others are starting to do what you are doing" but my guidance (love) says "share your work with the world without attachment. Watch it expand and grow". It is listening to the voice of love that I return to peace and gratitude.

Last night before bed I was looking at myself in the mirror reflecting on my life. I noticed a yellowing in my eyes. I have struggled most of my life with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Although I don't drink much these days any amount seems to really affect my poor liver. Some wine and a few beers over the weekend is all it took. As I looked deep into my eyes I saw a light and I heard these words. "You cannot kill yourself. It is not your path. You have so much more to do in this world." I knew at that moment I needed to eliminate alcohol for good. The same year of my miscarriage my father died from cirosis of the liver. It was an eventful year.

Throughout my life I could see myself choosing pain because it was familiar. It was almost like sitting back and watching a movie. Sometimes even asking myself "what are you thinking?" then watching myself do it anyway. The last 9 years of my fertility journey have really been about letting go of the need to "learn the hard way".

After years of suffering through anorexia, bulimia and substance abuse I look back and see myself testing my limits - mind and body. I was so attached to pain and suffering it was like I was committing slow suicide. My miscarriage and my fertility journey saved my life. I honestly don't believe I would have made it this far without this incredible life experience to "wake me up" to my full potential. I can only be grateful for this gift. In spite of all that occurred yesterday I went to bed with gratitude in my heart.

This morning I picked up Wayne Dyer's book Inspiration. It is one that I keep beside my bed for times where I need guidance and a reminder to live an inspired life. I hold it in my palms at my heart in a gesture of namaste and ask for guidance. Whatever page I open to are the words I am meant to read at the time. This morning the message I took from the pages was about staying inspired not matter what and to trust that when I do, anything is possible. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

My affirmation for today is to "Stay Inspired. Expect Miracles".

Namaste, Sue

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Are You Starving Your Cells?

I wanted to share this article with you that I wrote recently after experiencing an incredible shift in my own health. After doing further research I have some information that will change how you look at nutrition.

Click on the title below to read the article
Are You Starving Your Cells?
Hugs, Sue

Monday, August 3, 2009

Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose



This pose will increase the blood supply to your pelvic area, calm the mind and relieve tired legs and feet. If you focus on expanding your belly with each inhale, it will help you soften the muscles of your vaginal wall and pelvic area. Imagine softness in your uterus and ovaries allowing the flow of blood and energy without restriction or tension.

Preparation: Lie on your side with your buttocks close to or against the wall (or tree). As you slowly roll over onto your back gently lift one leg at a time and place it against the wall. Once you are on your back, rest the legs against the wall. Stay in this pose for 5-15 minutes as you concentrate on your breathing. To come out of the pose gently bend your knees and roll over on to your side remaining on your side for 10 to 15 breaths.

Modifications: This pose can be performed using a bolster, block or blanket under the pelvis. The blanket or bolster should lift the pelvis approximately 2-3 inches depending on your level of comfort. *DO NOT use a bolster with this pose during menstruation.

Option: Move your legs away from each other creating a mild stretch for your inner thigh.

This pose will increase the blood supply to the pelvic area, calm the mind, and relieve tired legs and feet. If you concentrate on breathing, using your diaphragm, it will help you soften the muscles of the vaginal wall and pelvic area. Imagine a softness in the uterus and ovaries allowing the flow of blood and energy without restriction or tension.

Inner Reflection: Focus on your desire to have a baby. Begin to invite your baby to come into your life. Change your perspective: you are no longer “waiting” or “trying”, from now on you are “open to conceive” or “inviting your baby”.

Source: Yoga for Fertility Handbook by: Sue Dumais
Photo credit: Adrienne Thiessen of Gemini Visuals