I remember JOY!

About 4 years ago my best friend and life coach, Lisa asked me to write a JOY list. My first thoughts were "joy smoy, is there such a thing as joy". It was not a word I used in my vocabulary. It had been so long since I experienced joy that is was completely foreign to me. Since then I have been inviting joy into my life. I often tell my clients that sometimes you need to fake it till you make it. Although I have had glimpses of joy, I struggled to really bring it into my life fully. During my yoga practice this morning I actually felt JOY within every cell of my body. My mind and my heart were united and there was a beautiful light surrounding me. Dissolving all fears and melting all my doubts. I was smiling on the inside and out. It overwhelmed me to a point where I felt the tears fall down my cheeks. Tears of JOY! Through the eyes of joy today I was able to receive my husband's love fully and completely. My heart was open and ready to feel love again. I wasn't afraid to let it in. My journey through fertility had closed my heart and I was so afraid to live and love fully. I thought a baby was the only thing that could possibly make me happy. The only happiness I am ever going to find is the happiness I decide to create within. It is not out there somewhere, it is within me. As I open my heart more and more each day I begin to feel alive again! I am so grateful for all people in my life that love me and have loved me even when I wasn't capable of loving them back. It is amazing how lost I was for such a long time. As I reflect on my past it makes me appreciate coming home so much more. Thank you for listening.
Hugs and JOY, Sue

My Fertility Story

I have been "waiting" for my video of my fertility story to be ready to post on my website and it seems that there are circumstances beyond my control delaying it. It is interesting how I am reacting at this time. A few years ago, even 6 months ago, I would be calling, emailing and do whatever I could to make it happen on my time line. In this moment I am surprisingly calm and trusting it will happen when it is meant to. I realize that I don't have the privilege to see the bigger picture. In the past I would force things that weren't flowing. I have learned many lessons in hindsight and I choose to remain in a place of trust this time around. It is a more peaceful path. Of course I question and wonder every once in a while but I check in with my guidance to see if there is any action required by me at this time. If there is a message or action I will respond. If not I will trust my guidance even when it doesn't make sense in my mind. I know the video will be coming at some point in the future, at this time I am being guided to share my written story.

Click here to read My Fertility Story

Stand up and take charge of your life

My intention this year is to raise consciousness and awareness about fertility. I no longer feel the need to prove anything. Instead I want to educate and inform. I want help the world understand fertility so that they can support others through their journey with love, compassion and empathy. I want to empower women with the knowledge that they have the ability to heal themselves. There is an inner guidance within that will lead them on a path of self discovery and healing. A path that will transform their experience of every life situation, including their fertility journey.

It is time to take charge of your life. It is time to find your voice and stand up for your Self.

I will be your coach, your cheerleader and your FAITH until you begin to be all those things for your Self!

I believe in you! I know deep down, you believe in your Self, just as much as I believe in you!

What is your pain really trying to tell you?

After reading some of Dr. Bruce Lipton's book Biology of Belief I wanted to share some of my insights. He talks about the subconscious thoughts that dictate most of our decisions and actions. We basically operate from the thoughts that we don't "hear" in our conscious mind. Our subconscious mind makes up about 95% of our thoughts each day. The majority of the subconscious thoughts are repeated over and over again like a tape playing in our heads that we no longer "hear" because on some level we believe them to be true.

All pain or discomfort stems from a thought. The thought can be conscious (what we hear ourselves saying in our head) or subconscious (what we don't "hear"). Each time I feel discomfort in my physical body I ask what thought created this discomfort and I open space in my mind for an answer. I have had this discomfort in my lower belly for a few weeks now and with my menstrual cycle came a great deal of back pain while I was meditating yesterday.

I was participating in a healing workshop called Spiritual Development lead by my soul sister, friend and Life Coach, Lisa Windsor. The meditation lasted about a 1/2 hour. My back was screaming at me and I wasn't willing to look at it. There was so much fear about looking at the thoughts associated with the pain that I was doing anything to avoid it. Finally one of the women in the group came over and placed her hands on my head. At first it was comforting and suddenly I had an image of being held up by my neck and shaken violently. The pain along my spine was intensified. There was so much anger around me and my thoughts were "why are you so angry with me, I didn't do anything wrong, why are you so angry with me?" playing over and over in my head. I broke down and cried, hanging my head in fear, trying to protect myself from the violence.

I was encouraged to lie down on my back and Lisa placed a blanket over me. With the love and support of the women surrounding me I explored my fear a little deeper. I was holding it in my right hip, pelvis (mostly in my uterus) and all the way up and down my spine. As I went a little deeper I realized I hated being a child. My childhood for the most part was so painful - physically and emotionally. I couldn't wait to grow up and although I have made peace with my past I absolutely wouldn't want to do it all over again.

The hidden belief I discovered from that healing session was that I wouldn't want any child to have to go through all the pain and suffering I endured as a child. How could I bring a baby into this world only to have them experience the pain I did as a child? No wonder I haven't gotten pregnant. Would any Mother knowingly put her child in a situation where she was certain there would be pain and suffering. WOW! What an "AHA moment".

After realizing the thoughts associated with my pain it suddenly disappeared. I felt warmth and space fill the areas as the pain melted away as if it was never there. I felt a sense of peace and love. I invited my spirit baby in and she eagerly snuggled into my womb. I surrounded her with love and let her know that I believe in her strength and I know that no matter what she faces in this physical life that she will be "ok" just as I am "ok" today. Every experience provides an opportunity to learn. I learned from my experience yesterday that I know my baby is coming to me - one way or another. I know that if she is not born in my physical body that she will be born in my heart. I know that if I can't be there to protect her when she arrives in this physical world that I will trust she will be ok and that I will listen deeply to the signposts to follow my path to bring her home. I trust I will arrive to get her at just the right time.

We all have a calling in this life and there are certain experiences we must have in order to bring us clearly on our path. My journey through childhood was exactly what I needed to be able to have the courage and strength to move through my fertility journey while holding on to trust and faith. I know my spirit baby has a destiny as well. She hears her calling and knows what path is best for her. During a meditation last Thursday I heard the words "Now that you are committed I need to go do something, but I will be back". She was gone for 2 days. I would call her spirit in and she wasn't there. I was sad and I missed her but I knew she was coming back. In hindsight I know that her leaving was for her and my highest good. For without her absence I wouldn't of had my experience with resistance, fear and pain. Now that I am on the other side of it I fell a sense of freedom, trust and pure unconditional love. I am no longer panicked and fearful to bring my child home in order to protect her. I choose to surround her with my love and she will come into this world feeling unconditional love whether she is born in my physical body through a pregnancy or in my heart through adoption.

I am deeply grateful and I thank you for listening.

Namaste

I know you are out there

I know that there are women all over the world dealing with fertility challenges and feeling very isolated and misunderstood. You are not alone and neither am I. I would love to hear from you. I would like this blog to help create a sense of community as well as inspiration. If you are inspired about something you read or feel inspired to share some part of your story, I encourage you to post a comment. It is the emails, feedback and faces of my clients as they transform into radiant powerful Mothers that inspires me to keep doing what I doing. Every woman can be a Mother, one way of another. I believe and so can you!

Are you 100% committed to having a baby?

I have had this feeling that I am being called to Africa. I kept seeing ads, commercials and pictures of Ghana. When I keep seeing similar signposts over and over again I become curious. When I spent some time reflecting about it over the weekend I discovered that I could hear my baby calling me. She is ready. After talking to Lisa I discovered that although I have come to a place of peace and acceptance in my fertility journey, there was something I was missing. I talked a lot about adopting from Africa in the last 6 months and I realized that I talked about but haven't yet committed. I decided that I needed to make a commitment irregardless of whether I had the money yet or not. I needed to really commit! So I spoke to my husband who has been very open to adoption but not as sure as I have been, especially from another country. He was willing to read the website and look at the steps of the international adoption process. I respect that he needs more time to consider it and he also needs us to be in a different financial position. We decided we would wait 3 months and re-visit the conversation. The shift that occurred for me and the piece that I had been missing these last 3 years is that, now, I am 100% committed. I am no longer worried about how I can manage to have a baby and continue to build my business and support my fertility clients. I know deep in my heart that it will all work out and I trust that I can do it. There were so many reasons and excuses of why I couldn't have another baby right now and suddenly all those reasons have been dissolved. I am 100% committed. There is not a shred of doubt in my mind and body. I know when I am this committed, that I can make anything happen. There is part of me that wonders whether I will suddenly find myself pregnant before 3 months. I am leaving that up to Faith (not fate, Faith is my spirit baby). In my heart I feel we are both ready to make this commitment. In 3 months if I am not pregnant I will start the adoption process. One way or another I can be a Mother and I will stop at nothing to bring my child home.

Ask yourself the following question and create space in your mind for the answer to pop up.
Am I 100% committed to having a baby?
Am I 100% committed to being a Mom?

If your answer was yes and you felt it in your entire being then you are 100% committed. If your answer wasn't a clear and strong YES (without any hesitation) then you are not 100% committed. On some level you don't believe you are ready, or worthy or able. Whatever the reason, the bottom line is that you need to line up your mind, body and spirit to be fully 100% committed.

The question then becomes, how do I get myself there? Stay tuned I will be blogging on subconscious beliefs that hold us back in life without our awareness. How do you discover these hidden obstacles and what can you do about them? I will share more insight with you as I reflect back on my own process through it.

You Can Be a Mother! I believe in You!

After my yoga practice this morning I found myself inspired to record a message to all women everywhere. This message was also for me and in recording it I experienced a deeper level of healing.

Click here to listen.

Namaste, Sue

You must watch this!

I ran a fertility support group last night and was deeply touched by the openness to share. We explored the anger, sadness and pain of fertility struggles. One of the biggest challenge for couples is that everyone else around them doesn't "get it". It has been something I have personally experienced and have heard over and over again from my clients. I am on a mission to help the world "get it". The video of my personal fertility journey will be available soon. I plan to speak to anyone that will listen. One way of another, one person at a time if I need to - I promise you, I will not give up until the world "gets it"! The view of fertility needs to shift so that women and couples all over the world feel more support as they take this challenging path. You are not alone! I "get it" so deeply and I will be your voice as long as you need me to be!

One women in the group last night mentioned a video she watched that captured one couples fertility journey. I just watched it through the tears in my eyes. Please watch it and pass it on to others. Together, we can continue to increase awareness.

click here to view the video called Empty Arms

Do I think Yoga for Fertility Can Help You Get Pregnant?

I just read the article in the Globe and Mail on Yoga for Fertility in which I was interviewed. (link to article below) Although the article will increase awareness about fertility and how yoga can help, I am hung up on three words. When asked will yoga help you get pregnant "I say no." I would never say NO! Of course I believe it will help. For me yoga is a tool to help heal the mind and body. Women come in to class feeling defeated and desperate and leave feeling hopeful and calm. Yoga is an opportunity to spend time with SELF and begin to listen to your own inner guidance. It helps you make decisions from that place of knowing within yourself versus out of desperation or confusion. Yoga helps you to explore and create awareness about any physical or emotional blocks or limiting beliefs you have that may be interfering with your fertility.

I recently became aware of one of my limiting beliefs that was negatively impacting my fertility for the last 2 years. It is not because my yoga practice didn't work. It is because I had a subconscious belief that if I were to get pregnant that I wouldn't be able to support my fertility clients. Many of them have trouble being around pregnant women. How could I sit in a Yoga for Fertility class and support them with my growing belly? Through awareness and yoga I have been able to let go of that limiting belief and trust that if I should become pregnant the experiences that occur are the ones that my clients and I need to be present to.

As of Dec 31st I created a sacred space in my home to began my own personal yoga practice each morning. Although I have been practicing yoga for many years, I have committed to begin a one hour practice each morning at 6am. I have been doing it for 6 days now and it feels great. I start each day with yoga, meditation and self reflection. I am even using my own voice guided Yoga for Fertility audio classes and I love it. I finally get to experience my own yoga classes. I am also taking at least 5 minutes before bed to meditate or listen to inspiring music. I sleep better and feel more rested each morning. I have more clarity in my mind and feel grounded and calm. My moments of upset are few and don't last very long. Things that I would fret about for days I can resolve and find peace around within an hour and even in some cases a few minutes.

Can yoga help you get pregnant? I know that yoga can help you find meaning in your fertility journey. In finding meaning, you will find peace and in finding peace anything is possible.

(click here to read the article in the Globe and Mail)