Past or present?

In many of my private yoga therapy sessions with clients there is a release of past trauma. Sometimes we need to know what it is about because we have something to learn from it in the present moment. Other times it is just negative energy impacting our health, our fertility and even our ability to love. Past hurts can often interfere with our ability to love in our present day relationships. I know for me personally I have been working on opening my heart to receive love from my husband and others. Although it is getting easier because I am making a conscious effort to remain open, I still have days where the fear comes in and closes my heart. Loving with my whole heart still feels overwhelming at times because my heart chakra (energy center) was closed down for such a long time. I remember writing poems about losing a piece of my heart or that someone took a piece of me when they hurt me. Today I realize no one can ever "hurt me", I can only choose to feel hurt by what they do or say. I can take my personal power back and I know now that no one has the power to "hurt me". Times when I do feel hurt really has nothing to do with that person. It has to do with how I feel about myself. What thought about myself makes what another person says or does to me affect me this way? It is my thoughts that create feelings of hurt, shame or guilt. Something I read in Dr. Wayne Dyers book "The Wisdom of the Tao" helped me shift my worry and fear of others judging me. The jist of it was, what other people think of me is none of my business. A sense of freedom and power came over me instantly. It doesn't matter what others think of me, in fact, it is none of my business. The pressure was lifted instantly. I cannot feel judgment of others if I don't fear their judgment. My work is in releasing all self judgment and freeing myself from my own negative thoughts about me. I practice non-judgment of self and others. We weren't born judging others, we learned this behaviour and I know we can unlearn it. Whenever you have a thought of judgment acknowledge it, release it to the universe and ask for healing. In asking for healing you are essentially practicing acceptance (without further judgment) and forgiving yourself for having those thoughts. A feeling of peace will follow. Practice this technique and you will begin to notice just how often you have thoughts of judgment. Remember to be patient with yourself. You could easily judge and condemn yourself further. This an exercise in awareness, acceptance and forgiveness.

"Examining the past can help clarify many of our problems, but healing doesn't occur in the past. It occurs in the present. There is practically a mania these days for blaming the events of our childhood for our current despair. What the ego doesn't want us to see is that our pain doesn't come from the love we weren't given in the past, but from the love we ourselves aren't giving in the present. Salvation is only found in the present. Every moment we have a chance to change our past and our future by reprogramming the present."

— Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles