Sometimes I just don't understand

Here I am awake at 4am again. It has been a while but when it happens I know I have some creative juices flowing and need to channel them into my writing instead of lying in bed wondering why I can't sleep. Times where I feel frustrated, confused or anxious used to keep me stuck for a long time. I now have tools to help me process my negative emotions and move the energy associated with it. Yesterday morning I was feeling so frustrated and my irritation increased as I observed my reactions to everything that was happening around me. I felt a heavy and overwhelming sense of responsibility. It felt like I was holding the weight of the world on my shoulders. I had pain in my neck and upper back. I felt like I had so much to do and no time to do it. I knew deep down that I wasn't upset for the reason I thought, but I just couldn't shake it. My ego mind was loud and obnoxious. I couldn't hear the voice of my heart, my inner guidance. I called and spoke to Lisa and after sharing my frustration with her she told me to ask for guidance by repeating the words "I don't understand all of this, please help me see it differently". The words resonated deeply with me and it was true, I truly didn't understand and I was completely willing to see it differently. As I united my head with my heart I began to find clarity and peace again. I repeated the words and added "I am not at peace, please help me see this differently so I can be at peace". I suddenly felt a sense of calm blanket me. I remember a time where I needed to analyze and break down everything so I understood where it was coming from and why. I appreciate that I needed that process at that time, but today, I have such an easier more loving and gentle way of processing my emotions. I don't have to relive the pain and suffering, I can simply ask for healing and a new perspective. When my mind is united with my heart, it is simple and loving. Even when I don't understand I can use my thoughts to heal my mind and body and return to a sense of peace.