Interview for The Fertile Mind

I recently had the honour of connecting with Fertility Cognitive Hypnotherapist Russel Davis. I felt an immediate respect and gratitude for his passion for fertility. We have very similar mindsets when it comes to supporting couples and helping them overcome fertility challenges. He is a beautiful individual and I am excited to introduce him to you.

Russel asked to interview me on my natural approach to fertility and how I support women and couples through this challenging life experience.

Click on the link and you will find my interview as you scroll down the page. Be sure to check out all the other fertility experts he interviewed including Dr Christiane Northrup, Dr Alice Domar and more.

Follow your heart and let your intuition lead you to the people and the tools that are meant to help you navigate this journey.

I hope this gives you some support through the holidays.

http://www.thefertilemind.net/interviews/

I hold faith and trust in your dream coming to fruition...borrow my belief if you need to...it is unwavering. 

Namaste ~ Sue xo

Afraid to LOVE

I have spent the last 2 weeks reflecting on the idea of loving with my whole heart. I have always said that I did and perhaps I was saying it because that was my intention but recently I recognized that my iron shield is still in place protecting my heart from hurt.

I was reading a blog by Lissa Rankin and she shared a story about her dog being injured and she wrote the words "I give you permission to break my heart". My breath stopped and I felt a knife piercing my heart. The words were powerful and triggered a deep response in my body. My internal dialogue was strong and fierce "why would I give others permission to hurt me?"

I felt the "flight or fight" response in my body kick in as a rush of adrenalin was released and a deep sense of fear filled my body and mind. It was as if I were fighting for my life and my first instinct was to run and hide. Why did those words hit me so deeply? As I turned my attention inward I felt a shield around my heart. What I heard was "I give you permission to hurt me". I realized my heart was still closed off because there was a part of me that was still so afraid to be hurt. Not only was this thick shield protecting me from hurt but it was blocking me from really loving with my whole heart.


When I was younger I felt like a victim of life's circumstances. I grew up with a lot of pain, physically and emotionally. I held onto the pain so that I wouldn't burden others, especially my Mother. Many years ago someone taught me that no one else can hurt me, I can only choose to feel hurt. This idea allowed me to move from feeling like a victim to Standing in my POWER again. I felt a renewed sense of control as I realized I had the ability to choose how to respond in any situation.What I just realized is that the idea that no one can hurt me I can only choose to feel hurt actually became another layer of iron on my shield protecting my heart. 

I have moments when I open the gates to my heart fully and it is in those moments I feel most vulnerable. Why can't I keep the gates open all the time? What am I so afraid of? Is it really about being afraid of feeling hurt or am I really afraid to love fully and completely?

Love is such a powerful emotion and to love fully feels overwhelming to me. The good news it is only overwhelming because it is unfamiliar. As I continue to practice opening my heart to feel fully it will become more familiar and become easier and easier. Does that protect me from feeling hurt, grief, disappointment and fear? Absolutely not. I want to feel everything, the positive and the negative emotions. That is what being human is all about. It is in the fear you recognize and appreciate love. It is in deep sadness you appreciate joy and happiness. We need the contrast to appreciate and recognize how good joy and love feels.

To what extent do you love with your whole heart? Are you willing to give and receive love without a shield of protection around your heart? Are you afraid to love? Can you love like you have never been hurt before?

To some people it may seem impossible to heal  a deep seeded fear like this one but I know in my heart ANYTHING can be healed. I am choosing a gentle path for this one. Instead of forcing and trying to get rid of my iron shield it I will bless it for all the lessons it provided. I will love as much as I can in each moment and let go of any judgments or fears as they show up.

Each day my intention is to repeat and embrace the following affirmation:
"I choose to live through the opening in my heart."


I would love to hear from you. Please share your comments below.

What is it Going to Take?

What are you willing to do to get pregnant/to have a baby? How many more things will you "try" before you hit the wall of surrender? What is it going to take for you to take charge of your own health?


When I first started "trying" to conceive I was coming from a place of desperation. I had recovered physically from my miscarriage and my only focus was to get pregnant again. I was willing to do anything and everything.


Stand on my head ~ ok
Relax, get drunk and it will happen ~ tried it - didn't work!
Take your temperature and chart it each morning at 6am ~ yep
Elevate my pelvis after intercourse ~ every time!
Stop eating sugar ~ difficult but did it
No more alcohol ~ yes well worth it
Acunpuncture ~ weekly
Yoga and meditation ~ daily
Yucky tasting herbs ~ all I can say is YES but YUCK
Highest Quality Supplements ~ improved my health and reduced my symptoms dramatically


I was willing and committed to doing whatever I needed to do to get pregnant. My desire to have a baby was so intensely strong that nothing was going to stand in my way. Two years later I conceived my son and all the positive changes I made contributed to a healthy pregnancy and baby. After he was born we were open to conceive another. This time I wasn't willing to go through the chaos and ride the emotional roller coaster ride once again. I didn't want to desperately try everything. There had to be another way.

I started to reflect on the following questions:
Why was I willing to make all these positive lifestyle changes to get pregnant but not for me?
Why was a baby worth it but I wasn't?
Why was I committed to doing whatever I needed to in order to conceive but I wasn't willing to make those changes for my own health and wholeness?

I learned in the last 7 years working with my fertility clients through yoga therapy, support groups and Fertility Yoga classes that learning to Mother Self is the greatest gift you can give your child. If you were willing to do whatever it takes to be your healthiest self before pregnancy, before your baby arrived in your arms that would be the greatest gift you could ever give your child and yourself. Not only will it contribute to a healthier pregnancy, baby and lifestyle it will also help you teach your child self love.

Your child will learn from your actions not your words. If you are showing them by example that self care is essential they will learn love and respect for self. If you recognize that filling your cup first and giving from the overflow is the key to be able to continue to give and give and give without feeling depleted and hitting the brick wall, they will understand the importance of self love and self care.

What is it going to take for you to focus on your health and well-being? Instead of allowing the thoughts of fear, stress and worry consume you and interfere with your ability to create fertile soil for conception, focus on being your healthiest self. Maybe you will begin by making positive changes for your baby to be and hopefully you can shift it to making healthy choices because YOU are worth it. You deserve to feel good inside and out! You are worthy of health and wholeness! You can be a light of health for everyone around you! You can do it! All it takes is a willingness to make one small change for YOU.

What is it going to take? Fertility, Cancer, Diabetes or another health challenge? What if your fertility challenges was a sign post to wake you up? What if it was placed on your path to turn your focus inward and begin a journey of self discovery like mine was? What if it was designed to help you awaken the healthiest YOU and teach you to Mother Self so you can be a more grounded, centered and present as a parent?

Something to consider...

Afraid to Blog

After reading a friend's blog post this week I realized that I am afraid to write in my own blog. I used to share my blog posts frequently. I write in my journal every day but I have not been sharing it. Something shifted. As I processed the fear in my body, the underlying message is that I am afraid of judgment. This is curious because most of my writing in this blog has been about sharing my own fertility journey. I was sharing so openly and honestly for so long. What shifted and why is it coming up now?

It has been 7 years since my husband and I have been open to conceive another child. Since following my heart to adopt a little girl from Africa I have felt a deep sense of peace. I explored the fear a little deeper, suddenly I felt a ping in my heart and the memory of a client's email came flooding back to me. Shortly after we decided to start the adoption process a client emailed me calling me a hypocrite. While I realized not everyone understood my journey and my decision to adopt, I never had someone verbally "attack me" about it.

I handled the email with love and grace and processed my emotions the best way I could. I recognized it was not about my decision to adopt but her own guilt for feeling forced as a teenager to give her own daughter up for adoption. I processed it emotionally and mentally but apparently some fear was planted in my heart at that time because shortly after that my writing slowed down.

I had been putting myself out there, sharing so openly and wearing my heart on my sleeve for so long that I didn't realize how much this email hurt me. Since then I have been afraid to blog about the adoption process. There has been a block and I had convinced myself it was because I was focusing on recording episodes for my Redefining Fertility Radio show. It turns out the incident shut down my heart.

Sharing openly about my own fertility journey was very therapeutic and healing for me, for my clients and all the women worldwide who were reading my blog.  It is amazing how one incident can have such a deep impact on your life and creep in to affect your life in ways that you wouldn't really see. I felt resistance in writing my book and my blog. It was the resistance that showed up clearly this week when I spoke to a coach about my new book Solving Your Fertility Puzzle. Now that I am aware of it I am ready to face the fear and start writing again. 

I will not let fear hold me back from writing anymore. My writing is a source of support and inspiration and I open my heart to allow the message to come freely again. I write from my heart and allow the messages to come through me. Some people will appreciate my words and others won't. All I need to do is follow my heart and the words will land where they need to land.

My book Solving Your Fertility Puzzle will be completed soon as I am committing to working with a coach. I can share my story openly along with the mind body tools that I have used to help countless women and couples worldwide.

Thank you for letting me share my journey with you and I hope it continues to inspire you!
Hugs,
Sue

Stop Trying, Start Inviting

Has anyone ever told you that you just need to "stop trying" and then you will conceive? While for some women that feels like a thorn, there is some truth to it. So how to you stop trying?

Join Sue Dumais as she explores this concept. This episode will inspire you to see a new perspective that will leave you with HOPE in your heart and an empowered mindset.

Click here to listen to this Redefining Fertility Radio Show episode.

Fertility Focus Telesummit 2012

This is the event you have been waiting for!

If you have been trying for a baby for some time, and are perhaps going through fertility tests or treatment, you’ll know how confusing and upsetting the whole process can be.  You want to know how you can improve your chances of success, but you don’t know where to look for answers.

I’m pleased to invite you to the Fertility Focus Telesummit 2012.  An amazing “virtual event” that you can attend for free!  I will be speaking at this event, alongside other fertility experts from around the world.  You can listen in to all the information- packed presentations either online or over the phone every day of the Telesummit, starting on March 12th.

Grab your f’ree place now to attend this exciting event, and get fully informed about

what you can do to improve your chances of having a baby.  Click here to read all about the Fertility Focus Telesummit 2012, including details of all the expert presentations, each covering a different aspect of fertility and all offering great advice, ideas and solutions to help you move further towards becoming a parent.

I hope to ‘see’ you there! 

Remember it all starts on March 12th so there’s only a few days to secure your place. Click here to sign up now.

Do you know anyone else who is struggling with fertility issues?  Please pass this email on to them, as they won’t want to miss out on this amazing event!

Who Am I Really?

I remember a dream where I was at an event with my 3 mentors Les Brown, Paul Martinelli and Dr Christiane Northrup. I couldn't find a seat where I could see very well so I decided to go and sit in front of all the chairs. I suddenly found myself in a farmer's field sitting in the long grass with everyone behind me watching.

There was a tractor that was pulling a large number of blades to cut the grass. Suddenly the tractor went into reverse and was coming right toward me with the blades lining up with the left side of my body. I didn't have time to stand up as the blades were coming toward me quickly so I reached out my right hand to a friend and yelled "PULL!" As she began to pull me away from the blades they were still coming toward me and I could feel the left side of my body and face being cut by the sharp blades. The rate she was pulling me away from the blades was just enough to keep me from getting run over all together.

Suddenly the tractor blades stopped and I was able to move away from the razor sharp blades. I stood up and walked into a bathroom. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize who I was. My left cheek was cut and looking infected and the left side of my body was bruised and bleeding.

In a panic I ran out of the bathroom frantically looking for my purse. People were staring and many were telling me I needed to go to the hospital. I was so focused on finding my purse. It was as if my life depended on finding it. The thoughts in my head were "all my identification is in there. I need it so I can go to the hospital. Without it they won't know who I am."

I woke up from the panic of my dream and realized there was deep meaning for me. I was curious as I began my yoga practice and began to reflect on what it really meant.  I realized that in my dream I didn't really know who I was. Without my purse, my identity, my credentials, my professional qualifications, the hats I wear each day, my face...who am I really? I reflected deeper and began to ask "If I am not all of those things, then who am I really?"

When you introduce yourself to someone they usually ask what you do because they want to know who you are. What do you say? How do you define who you are? Can you really sum up all of who you are in the labels society is expecting to hear? In life we become so attached to our identity, our name, our labels (yoga teacher, healer, speaker, wife etc) that we move further away from who we truly are. The essence of who we are is not in the labels or uniform we wear. It is not in our profession, qualifications or even our given birth name.

So who am I really? It is difficult to capture the essence of “who I am” in words that society would understand. My coach Paul Martinelli gave me some insight and he helped me understand how to answer this burning question. It is not about the words you use in your answer to the question of "Who am I?" What is more important is the belief you hold and the feeling you connect to when you share with others who you are.

For example, when someone asks me what I do, I may answer that I am a Speaker, Coach, Intuitive Healer or Fertility Yoga Specialist. As I speak those words I will invite the essence and energy of who I am behind those words or labels. I believe the essence of who I am is: I am LIGHT. I am LOVE. I am ONE with SPIRIT.

I used to think that I needed to prove to others I was good enough, I was smart or that I was worthy. The words have become less important. I no longer feel the need to prove to anyone who I am. I no longer need to hold on tightly to those labels because deep down inside I am connected to my sense of Self, my soul, my spirit, my essence. I am at home in my heart, mind, body and spirit and it feels so good to be home.

The next time someone asks you "who are you" or "what do you do" I invite you to take a moment before you answer and connect to the beauty, wisdom and light that is within you. You are so much more than any word or label and when you really connect to that, your life will change in ways you would never begin to imagine.

You are a unique expression of a Universal Energy. You are a powerful creative being capable of manifesting a life that you love. When you remember that, you begin to co-create with a Source that extends beyond the physical boundaries and limitations of this world. As your awareness expands, miracles happen and who you really are becomes clear.

Stop Trying, Start Inviting

Has anyone ever told you that you just need to "stop trying" and then you will conceive? While for some women that feels like a thorn, there is some truth to it. So how to you stop trying?

Join Sue Dumais as she explores this concept. This episode will inspire you to see a new perspective that will leave you with HOPE in your heart and an empowered mindset.

Click here to listen to this Redefining Fertility Radio Show hosted on The WIN ~ Women's Information Network

New Year, New Baby

Did you start this year hoping that 2012 will you be your time to overcome fertility issues and conceive your baby? The New Year is the perfect time to state your wishes and vision and commit to making them a reality.

Now we’re almost a month into the year, and I wonder how you’re feeling. Is your motivation and positive thinking holding strong, or could you do with a little support? If you’d like to have effective support in making your baby dreams a reality this year then I have just the thing for you!

I’m very excited to be hosting a special online seminar next week with fertility support expert Sarah Holland. On this free call Sarah will be sharing her unique tips and techniques to help you achieve your ideal mindset for conception and prepare to make 2012 the year you conceive your baby.

Join us for the potentially life-changing ‘New Year, New Baby’ call by clicking on the link below and registering your free place NOW!

I hope you can join us on this special call as I know Sarah has some really useful information to share with you that could turnaround your fertility journey this year.

Wed Feb 1st at 12 noon PST

P.S. Please share this with anyone else you know who is trying to conceive about this call too (and they’ll be pleased you did), but be sure to secure your place first below!

Click here to secure your spot today!

Learn the Secret to Getting Pregnant Fast with Gabriela Rose

Join Sue Dumais on her Redefining Fertility Radio Show and her special guest Gabriela Rosa and learn the secret to getting pregnant fast—even if you are over 40!

Gabriela is a leading natural fertility specialist, Naturopath and creator of NaturalFertilityBreakthrough.com, a website aimed at empowering couples to reclaim their natural fertility and create truly healthy babies.


Click here to listen online to this Redefining Fertility Radio Show episode.

For more information on the free Natural Fertility Breakthrough 14 day Challenge as mentioned in the episode click here.