Thursday, February 18, 2010

Can't Ignore this Deep Calling

In my acupuncture session yesterday I became aware of tension in my sternum and upper abdomen. As I explored the tension a little deeper and asked what message my body was trying to tell me I felt a deep calling that I had put aside for the last few months.

I have managed to put my desire to adopt from Africa aside as I focus on my own health, building my business and creating residual income. Everything I am doing right now is preparing for the next step of my fertility journey. I am doing what I can to create a foundation in my business so that I have will have the financial freedom to travel and volunteer at an orphanage in Africa and ultimately adopt and bring my little girl home.

I have put it aside because it was difficult for me to deal with the idea that my little girl is there and I can't go and get her. I know in my heart she is already born and there are times in my meditation that I feel her calling me. When I tune into her energy some days it is very weak and it makes me very sad. So I realized when I say that I have put it aside, what has really happened is that I am burying it because it is too painful to face. I cannot ignore this calling deep inside me and when I tried it eventually shows up in my body. The body doesn't lie. My words and the feelings I had were not in alignment. While I was convincing myself I was ok, deep down I was not.

So where do I go from here? Do I continue to feel bad about circumstances I can't change? There is part of me that trusts everything will play out the way it needs to for everyone's highest good but as a Mother waiting to bring her child home, it is difficult. Especially knowing the potential dangers and challenges she is living.

After speaking to my best friend Lisa, I realized that as a Mother and a Healer I can stay connected to my little girl in spirit. I have the ability to tune into her energy by distance, but instead of feeling sad about it, I will send her distance energy healing. It will allow me to stay connected to her and at the same time help her on her journey in Africa. I feel like I am doing something to help her and influence her life. I will hold her in my heart until I can begin the process to bring her home into my arms.

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