Our thoughts are very powerful and essentially create our reality. Everything begins with a thought whether it be a conscious thought (one your hear in your mind as chatter) or a subconscious/habitual thought (repetitive tape playing in the back of our minds).
Awareness is the key to transforming your reality and it is sometimes helpful to begin with observing your thoughts. Here is the path that occurs for each of us with or without our realization.
Thought-->Emotion-->Physical Response in the Body
Negative thought = negative emotion = negative response in the body
Positive thought = positive emotion = positive response in the body
Take a moment to reflect on your fertility journey and the dialogue or chatter you have going on in your mind each day. How many times have you referred to yourself or something you did as "stupid"? Recently when I was teaching my Yoga for Fertility class I heard someone refer to something they said or did as "stupid". Some of the women in the support group did as well. When you have this dialogue in your head or out loud you are essentially calling yourself "stupid". Imagine someone you love telling you that you are stupid. I am sure you would agree that wouldn't feel so good. So why is it ok for you to tell yourself that? Why do we insist on being so critical to self?
Now lets shift to your fertility journey. I have heard the following from many clients
"my eggs are too old"
"I waited too long"
"I have unexplained infertility so no one knows what's wrong"
"I have to try everything but I know it will probably never happen"
"It's all my fault. If only I ..."
All of these words are negative and it brings the focus on what isn't working, what is wrong or possibly wrong, what didn't work, regret, worry, anxiety, fear, confusion etc. When you continue to tell your fertility story using these words you are creating tension and tightness in the physical body and increasing the stress response. Remember stress takes the blood supply away from the digestive and reproductive systems. When someone gets a result of "unexplained infertility" they are disappointed that they don't know what's "wrong". Why not celebrate that they didn't find anything? If you could turn your thoughts to celebrating the fact that according to western medicine there is "no physical reason" interfering with your ability to conceive. That is good news, isn't it?
When you continue to do what I call "un-fertile thinking" you move further away from your desire. An un-fertile thought leads to a negative emotion which then leads to tension in your body. Energetically you are lowering your vibration and moving further away from your desire. Women are worried about creating false hope so they use these words to keep them safe from disappointment but they will experience more and more disappointment because their thoughts are creating their reality. If they keep telling the story "It will probably never happen, I waited too long" then that will become their reality.
Now it would be easy to add more thoughts of blame and shame and continue the self destructive cycle, but I encourage you to stop that cycle by using awareness.
Begin to tell a different story. For example, I use to speak a lot about my miscarriage being the most devastating experience of my life, while that story is still true, I choose to say "my miscarriage saved my life and it woke me up to a new way of living and for that I am grateful." When I tell my story this way my energy rises and I become a vibrational match to love, joy and happiness. I feel better and I can fill my heart with gratitude and in turn I see more things in my life to be grateful for. My eyes are open to see what I appreciate versus stuck in a story that feels so "unfair" and painful.
I choose to create a different reality by being aware of my current thoughts and choosing more positive supportive thoughts. I CHOOSE every day in every way what I want to experience! You choose in each moment what you would like to create. You do have a choice even when it feels out of your control. Begin with your thoughts and you will shift your experience of fertility.
I invite you this week to begin to observe, notice, be curious about your thoughts and whenever you can, begin to tell a different story. You can tell a negative story or you can tell a positive story. It is all in how you tell the story. Include fertile, positive, supportive, loving thoughts when ever possible.
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3 comments:
I think you acknowledge a very important point when you say that women are trying to avoid false hope and so use negative thoughts to avoid further pain/disappointment. I notice that the negative thinking/worries I have are most associated with my worries and fears about not having a baby. I find it's a process of fully believing in myself as well as shifting the thoughts I am having. I was given a suggestion recently that I thought was helpful: when having awareness of a negative thought - consciously put a red X (in your mind) over the thought and either say - "cancel" or say to yourself " this is not a healing thought, I choose otherwise" and move ahead with your day:)
I believe in you too! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It sounds like you are changing your experience of your fertility through your awareness and conscious effort to channel your thoughts. Well done!
Pretty cool site you've got here. Thanks the author for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to this matter. I definitely want to read more on that blog soon.
Truly yours
Darek Wish
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