I just watched a video for a song written by Kellie Coffee about wanting to have a child. It touched my heart so I thought I would share it with you. The desire to have a child goes so deep it is really difficult to capture in words but this song may help others understand a little bit of what the fertility struggle can be like. Enjoy and share if you feel inclined. Hugs, Sue
Click here to listen.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Fertility Support Group Telecircle Aug
For those of you that are unable to attend a support group in person I will be offering another Fertility Support Group by phone.
I am hoping this phone support group will bring women and couples together world wide to benefit from the healing power of coming together with others that are experiencing similar circumstance.
Join me for the Fertility Support Group telecircle on Wed Aug 12th at 6:00 - 7:00pm (PST).
Contact me if you would like to participate and I will give you the details. Partners are welcome! FREE - sign up required!
I am hoping this phone support group will bring women and couples together world wide to benefit from the healing power of coming together with others that are experiencing similar circumstance.
Join me for the Fertility Support Group telecircle on Wed Aug 12th at 6:00 - 7:00pm (PST).
Contact me if you would like to participate and I will give you the details. Partners are welcome! FREE - sign up required!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Proper Etiquette When Talking About Fertility
I wanted to share this article with everyone. It is about what to say and what not to say when speaking to someone about fertility. You might find it helpful to share with friends and family.
EnJOY!
Click here to read.
EnJOY!
Click here to read.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A Visit from a Soul
I wanted to share this poem and hopefully it may help bring some peace to those of you who have experienced a loss on your fertility journey. I use my poetry to heal and let go. You will notice as you read the poem there is a process blame, letting go, healing and finding peace. Many of my clients who experience pregnancy loss will turn to blame themselves thinking they must have done something wrong. Although we can't possibly make sense of every life challenge as it is happening, I know there is an opportunity to learn and heal in every situation. I believe there is perfection in everything that happens and I just don't have the ability to see it fully from my human perspective. We will often see things in hindsight and we struggle to make sense of the "why". As we stop asking "why" and become more curious and willing, we begin to trust that everything happens for a reason. We take back control as we recognize our response to what happens in life will help us heal and move on or keep us stuck if we allow it. Although it may not feel like we have a choice, we always do!
A Visit From a Soul
by: Sue Dumais
A kiss from an angel, a soul from above
The warmth of a baby, unconditional love
A life transformed with a slight sense of fear
Becoming a mom, my future’s so clear
Suddenly something goes terribly wrong
The soul has left, no lullaby song
The pain and the grief are heavy and true
How did this happen? What did I do?
You had chosen me and touched my soul
Thank you for coming, I feel complete and whole
My arms and my heart will welcome you in
When you feel you are ready to come back again.
A Visit From a Soul
by: Sue Dumais
A kiss from an angel, a soul from above
The warmth of a baby, unconditional love
A life transformed with a slight sense of fear
Becoming a mom, my future’s so clear
Suddenly something goes terribly wrong
The soul has left, no lullaby song
The pain and the grief are heavy and true
How did this happen? What did I do?
You had chosen me and touched my soul
Thank you for coming, I feel complete and whole
My arms and my heart will welcome you in
When you feel you are ready to come back again.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Rebirth
I participate on Team Northrup calls each week and have the pleasure of learning directly from Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause and one of the country's most respected authorities on women’s health.
After one of the calls with Dr. Northrup I felt a real sense of uneasiness. I was irritated and found myself keeping busy to avoid it. As I went to bed I checked in to see what I was holding in my body and discovered another layer of limiting beliefs. I asked for healing around my unworthiness to have happiness in my life. I was willing and ready to give up all the stories that go along with why I don’t deserve to be joyful and happy. I have so much to be grateful for in my life and gratitude is something I can feel deeply. Happiness on the other hand is something I generally have been faking, and that saddens me.
When I heard Dr Northrup talk about our internal thermostat preconditioned early in life and often in the womb, that resonated deep within me. I have memories of my parents fighting while I was in my mother’s womb. I felt trapped and helpless because there was nothing I could do to help her. I remember making a conscious decision that I needed to take care of my mother. From the day I was born I made choices in my life that would be best for my mother and I continued to live that way up until recently.
On some level I still blame my mother for most of my pain growing up. In the last few years, I find myself frustrated with her because I have a judgment that she is not living to her full potential. I realize it is not really about her, it is about me not living to my full potential. There is a place deep down inside me that is so unhappy and feels like I deserve to be punished for all the wrong that I have done in my life, including the incidence of sexual abuse that occurred when I was 6 years old. Most of my healing has been about that little 6 year old girl who decided she was “bad” and deserved to be punished. At age 6 I decided that I was not entitled to a happy and joyful life. Throughout all my personal growth and healing it seems that I have avoided the time of my life from birth to the age of 5 years. I realized last night in my dream that there was so much that occurred for me in my mother’s womb and in order to heal this piece I need to start there.
I generally ask for healing while I sleep. I will also ask that the healing occur on the deepest level possible and I will often have dreams that reflect my healing process. Last night I had a dream that Dr Northrup was holding me in the fetal position in a body of water encouraging me to put my face in. I felt a deep panic and fear of drowning. This is a common occurrence for me and it shows up in my life when I feel “I am in too deep” or “feel overwhelmed and over committed”. I have a belief that continues to show up that “I can’t possibly do this all and be a good mother”. Some days I honestly feel like I could drown in my life.
In my dream Dr Northrup kept repeating “Trust me, you will be ok. Just let go and breath.” Finally I let my face go under the water and took a deep breath. I was suddenly in my mother’s uterus allowing the amniotic fluid fill my lungs. It felt warm and soothing. Suddenly I could breath under water. I felt free and light. Almost like I could swim anywhere and never worry about losing my breath. It was calming and peaceful. I felt nourished and comforted.
I woke up the next morning to do my yoga and meditation practice but still felt the need to process my dream more so I finished with a Miracle Thought for the day by Marianne Williamson. The one I listened to was: Forgiveness is the key to Happiness. So that day was about forgiving my mother, myself and any negative thoughts or upsets that arise. I hand it over to the universe and ask for healing, then I ask to see it differently.
I clearly see my fertility journey as a wake up call to heal my SELF. I encourage you to use this time as an opportunity to heal deeper parts of your SELF that need healing. I have asked many of my fertility clients about what kind of Mother they would have been had they become pregnant right away. Most of them can look back and realize that they will be a better Mom by having gone through this powerful life experience. Many are grateful to have had the time to get to know themselves better and to make peace with their past before they move into motherhood. As we learn to love and nurture ourselves we then teach our children to do the same. After all, actions are more powerful than words. Your children will learn from your example of how you live your life.
After one of the calls with Dr. Northrup I felt a real sense of uneasiness. I was irritated and found myself keeping busy to avoid it. As I went to bed I checked in to see what I was holding in my body and discovered another layer of limiting beliefs. I asked for healing around my unworthiness to have happiness in my life. I was willing and ready to give up all the stories that go along with why I don’t deserve to be joyful and happy. I have so much to be grateful for in my life and gratitude is something I can feel deeply. Happiness on the other hand is something I generally have been faking, and that saddens me.
When I heard Dr Northrup talk about our internal thermostat preconditioned early in life and often in the womb, that resonated deep within me. I have memories of my parents fighting while I was in my mother’s womb. I felt trapped and helpless because there was nothing I could do to help her. I remember making a conscious decision that I needed to take care of my mother. From the day I was born I made choices in my life that would be best for my mother and I continued to live that way up until recently.
On some level I still blame my mother for most of my pain growing up. In the last few years, I find myself frustrated with her because I have a judgment that she is not living to her full potential. I realize it is not really about her, it is about me not living to my full potential. There is a place deep down inside me that is so unhappy and feels like I deserve to be punished for all the wrong that I have done in my life, including the incidence of sexual abuse that occurred when I was 6 years old. Most of my healing has been about that little 6 year old girl who decided she was “bad” and deserved to be punished. At age 6 I decided that I was not entitled to a happy and joyful life. Throughout all my personal growth and healing it seems that I have avoided the time of my life from birth to the age of 5 years. I realized last night in my dream that there was so much that occurred for me in my mother’s womb and in order to heal this piece I need to start there.
I generally ask for healing while I sleep. I will also ask that the healing occur on the deepest level possible and I will often have dreams that reflect my healing process. Last night I had a dream that Dr Northrup was holding me in the fetal position in a body of water encouraging me to put my face in. I felt a deep panic and fear of drowning. This is a common occurrence for me and it shows up in my life when I feel “I am in too deep” or “feel overwhelmed and over committed”. I have a belief that continues to show up that “I can’t possibly do this all and be a good mother”. Some days I honestly feel like I could drown in my life.
In my dream Dr Northrup kept repeating “Trust me, you will be ok. Just let go and breath.” Finally I let my face go under the water and took a deep breath. I was suddenly in my mother’s uterus allowing the amniotic fluid fill my lungs. It felt warm and soothing. Suddenly I could breath under water. I felt free and light. Almost like I could swim anywhere and never worry about losing my breath. It was calming and peaceful. I felt nourished and comforted.
I woke up the next morning to do my yoga and meditation practice but still felt the need to process my dream more so I finished with a Miracle Thought for the day by Marianne Williamson. The one I listened to was: Forgiveness is the key to Happiness. So that day was about forgiving my mother, myself and any negative thoughts or upsets that arise. I hand it over to the universe and ask for healing, then I ask to see it differently.
I clearly see my fertility journey as a wake up call to heal my SELF. I encourage you to use this time as an opportunity to heal deeper parts of your SELF that need healing. I have asked many of my fertility clients about what kind of Mother they would have been had they become pregnant right away. Most of them can look back and realize that they will be a better Mom by having gone through this powerful life experience. Many are grateful to have had the time to get to know themselves better and to make peace with their past before they move into motherhood. As we learn to love and nurture ourselves we then teach our children to do the same. After all, actions are more powerful than words. Your children will learn from your example of how you live your life.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
A Note to God
I just watched a performance by Charice singing "A Note to God" on Oprah. It was inspiring and moving. Click here to watch it.
As we go through life there will always be challenges or bumps on the road. A life challenge like fertility can feel crippling and isolating as the months and years pass. What if you could change your experience of your fertility? What if your life didn't have to be so hard?
Every day we have the ability to choose. In every situation we face everything boils down to one choice - Love or Fear. Fear is often disguised as doubt, worry, anger or confusion. It is our Fear that cripples us. It is the voice of Fear that holds us back from seeing another perspective. It is our Fear that keeps us from living and experiencing our full potential. Fear can also be sneaky and when you follow the path of Fear, you will find more pain, confusion and unhappiness.
Begin to listen to the voice of Love. It is a gentle, encouraging voice saying "come this way". When you choose Love even when you don't understand (logical mind) you will follow that loving voice of your soul, God, the universe, your inner guidance (whatever word makes sense for you) and it will lead you to everything you desire including your baby to be.
When faced with your next decision, take a moment to reflect, then ask yourself "Am I choosing Love or Fear?" Neither is right or wrong. There are lessons on both paths. I encourage you to choose Love as often as you can. You deserve to experience a life filled with love and trust. In fact, it is your true essence. Each time you purposefully choose Love, you come back home to SELF. Welcome home!
As we go through life there will always be challenges or bumps on the road. A life challenge like fertility can feel crippling and isolating as the months and years pass. What if you could change your experience of your fertility? What if your life didn't have to be so hard?
Every day we have the ability to choose. In every situation we face everything boils down to one choice - Love or Fear. Fear is often disguised as doubt, worry, anger or confusion. It is our Fear that cripples us. It is the voice of Fear that holds us back from seeing another perspective. It is our Fear that keeps us from living and experiencing our full potential. Fear can also be sneaky and when you follow the path of Fear, you will find more pain, confusion and unhappiness.
Begin to listen to the voice of Love. It is a gentle, encouraging voice saying "come this way". When you choose Love even when you don't understand (logical mind) you will follow that loving voice of your soul, God, the universe, your inner guidance (whatever word makes sense for you) and it will lead you to everything you desire including your baby to be.
When faced with your next decision, take a moment to reflect, then ask yourself "Am I choosing Love or Fear?" Neither is right or wrong. There are lessons on both paths. I encourage you to choose Love as often as you can. You deserve to experience a life filled with love and trust. In fact, it is your true essence. Each time you purposefully choose Love, you come back home to SELF. Welcome home!
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