Saturday, December 20, 2008

Awake at 4am

I will often wake up at this time and feel inspired to write. This is the same time in the morning that I began writing my Yoga for Fertility Handbook. I used to get frustrated when I would wake up and was unable to get back to sleep. Now I realize it is a very creative time for me. The house is quiet (except my dogs are snoring - loudly!) and I have no other obligations at this time other than listening to my guidance. Although I am often guided to write, I don't always know what will come. I have been reflecting a lot about my fertility lately and I am in a place of peace about it. I just had news that one of my friends is pregnant with her second child. Her first was conceived through IVF and this one was a pleasant surprise. When I look back at my journey I realize how many pregnancies there have been around me. My friends, my sister, clients and even my dog. It doesn't affect me the way it used to. I am genuinely excited for them. I don't feel a sense of loss or jealousy anymore. I have made peace with my own journey and it doesn't matter what happens around me. It feels good to have made the shift and I am grateful for the opportunity to share the tools I have used with other women and couples so that their fertility journey doesn't have to feel so heavy and painful. Of course I still have days that I wonder if I will have another baby. All I know for sure is that my Spirit Baby "Faith" is by my side. When I meditate and ask her to come and communicate with me, I feel the gentle touch of her hand on my right cheek. She has such a gentle energy and her presence gives me a sense of peace. When I ask her if she will come to me through a pregnancy or by adoption, she just smiles. I am not meant to know at this time. I am not sure how and if she will come to me in physical form but I am grateful for our relationship. Even in spirit I learn so much from her. I know that my journey in the last few years has been about creating Family Passages. The studio has been my baby. My fertile energy has been channeled into creating this beautiful space for self discover and healing. This is my calling. I am doing what I came here to do in this lifetime. I am so deeply grateful to have the opportunity to touch the lives of so many women and couples. Thank you for listening. Hugs!


sayen said...

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